A Prayer For Marriages

About two months ago I read an article explaining how marriages are struggling during the pandemic. Having grown up in a divorced home, I was interested and kept reading. The author went on to share that domestic violence is increasing, child abuse is on the rise, and marriages that were struggling are splitting apart at the seams. The article shared that the pandemic would cause an increase in divorce rates around the world. I stopped and thought about how much pain would be felt from this. I hurt for the kids who see their parents fighting. My heart sinks for the spouses who have to move out. I thought about the divide that might happen because of this. Then it hit me; we need Jesus.

I started thinking about what Paul said to the church in Ephesus:
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Ephesians 5:21

As I think back on life, no one told me that my marriage would be easy. But people did tell me that marriage would be worth it!

We are living in a time where the word of God is diminished and devalued.

We are living in a stress-filled time.

We are leading in uncharted waters.

We are living in a time where non-believers are looking for believers to lead the way.

Paul goes on in Ephesians 5 to talk about the value and importance of marriage (I encourage you to read it). Marriage doesn’t have to be bad. Marriages can be healed by our Lord. It requires both parties to submit to Jesus and live a selfless, Spirit-filled life.

Prayer Points:
Today, will you join me in praying for marriages in your neighborhood, your family, and across the world? Let’s get on our knees and ask God to heal broken hearts. Let’s ask God to help us to love our spouse in the way He has asked us. Let’s pray for God to heal marriages so that families can serve the Lord together!

The death of Facebook?

Facebook has been in the news a lot lately...

It's good to know that I am not a news anchor, a journalist or someone who spends their time following news stories (they probably have a special name too). I am a pastor who loves Jesus and cares deeply about seeing more people know Him.

In the last week I've seen more imagines like the above one popping up in my newsfeed (obviously, I'm a Facebook user). I'm starting to wonder what is causing people to want to make this shift.

For the last couple years I have been more and more convinced that social media isn't making us any more social. The other day I intentionally took 36 hours away from social media to focus on my family. My conclusion from the experience; I enjoyed being present more than thinking about my Instagram story or checking in at Disneyland to let everyone know we were there for Isaiah's birthday.

Before you keep reading I want to be clear on a few things:
I am a nobody in the social media world.
There are people with millions of followers and I am not at that level.
My voice is small in the vast web.
My opinion is based on some thoughts that I'm writing at my kitchen table while my kid sleeps soundly upstairs and my bulldog has her five minutes of energy before she starts snoring on the couch for the next two hours.

Here are four reasons I think more people are considering leaving social media:

1) We long for human interaction 

I didn't do too well in history in high school, in fact I didn't do that great in high school at all. I dropped out my junior year so I could smoke weed and snowboard. I did end up finding a passion in college and even did my graduate degree. I've been fortunate to have studied history and learned more about human interaction that I thought I would.

Most societies think about the family as the primary source of encouragement and connection. While traveling in Africa, I learned that many families will gather together to discuss all the kids in the family. I'm talking about lots of cousins and kids being talked about in a room smaller than my living room. The family will decide what kid has the most potential to make it in college. They will invest their money in sending one kid to school and the kid might not be your kid. But the kid knows that it will be his or her job to help the family out once he or she gets a good job.

In America, we've moved to an individualistic society. We think it's all about the self. But it seems this model isn't working too well for us. I think people are longing for more human interaction, just like I was for my son's third birthday last month. We are longing for more people time and less screen but aren't completely sure how to accomplish this.

2) The screen never satisfies

I'm not sure I've ever left scrolling social media thinking, "I'm really glad I just spend thirty minutes of my day looking at nothing." The screen doesn't satisfy our longing. No matter how many likes you get on a pic or a video or a post or anything it will never satisfy.

The other day I posted saying that I've been sober for eighteen years. It is a huge accomplishment! In the comments a friend from high school, who probably never thought I would be sober, commented that the post had over 600 likes and she had never seen that. I had never had that many likes before on a post.

What I have learned is no matter how many hours I spend on social media scrolling, no matter how many likes I get or how many accolades, the screen never satisfies. It doesn't satisfy because God created me to do life with Him. What really satisfies my soul is spending time with God and other people. I love being outdoors and enjoying what God made.

3) God wired us to do life with other people 

We were created to do life with each other. In the very beginning of the Bible God created mankind. Adam named all the animals and then realized he was alone. He was the only one without a partner. God created a suitable helper for him. God wired us to do life with each other. We are hardwired to do life with other people.

Don't beleive me? What is the worst punishment our judicial system gives? I would argue its solitary confinement. I think the death punishment is gnarly but solitary is horrible for inmates.

God wired us to do life with others. This is why my friend recently posted that she was looking for reasons to keep her Facebook account. She was looking to the people she does life with to ask for their help. She had 24 people comment on the post. Some gave reasons to stay. Some reasons were funny and other heartfelt. Someone posted a funny video about the mass exodus from Facebook.

As I've been fortunate to do life with others I've realized how much I need human interaction with others. I need people to share my thoughts, dreams, and fears with. I have a wonderful wife who, when I'm on social media, I can ignore. I have great kids, who when I'm on social media, I can miss out on. I have so much in my life that social media distracts me from.

Now, I know. There are positives, please don't get me wrong. I just think more and more people are weighing the benefits of sitting on their screen with constant scrolling taking place.

4) Many times we leave our experience feeling worthless 

The last thing I've personally noticed is that I can leave social media feeling a little worthless or jaded. I could be having a rad time with my kids but I see your post from Hawaii. Then I start thinking, "I wish I was there."

I could be in Hawaii, but you are posting from Tahiti and I get jealous. Am I the only one with these feelings? If this is just me please let me know.

I could be snowboarding with my kids in Big Bear but I see your post from Tahoe and the ten feet of snow you just got. My nine inch storm sucks even more now and I wish I was riding Kirkwood.

Social media has become a new comparison gave or a way for envy, covetousness and jealousy to stir in my heart. The more I'm writing about this, I'm starting to think about deleting my account. Just like I said, my bulldog is snoring. My kids are asleep and my wife is out studying the Bible with some other women. I'm going to sit on these thoughts, edit them another day and probably post them (took me a week).

This post may not change your life or it might. Maybe you are on the fence like the above people. You are wondering if you should delete your social media. I did once. About six years ago I took three months off social media. It was great. At least once a year I leave my social presence for about 30-40 days and it's great!

I just read a post from a friend who deleted all the people he said, "yes" to that he met once or knew from school but wasn't friends with. Someone mentioned how he deleted thousands of friends. His number of friends is in the hundreds now, but he is connecting with people he really wants to connect with.



I haven't deleted people because I believe that my posting Bible verses, camp experiences and pictures with my family is helping more people love Jesus and their family.

Do what you need to do to connect with God and others. Like I said, these are just my thoughts.

VALIDATING YOUR SON

The following is an excerpt of my teaching to 100 men at my church at Men's Fraternity. We are currently using the 33 series: A Man and His Father. This book has been huge in my life!

In all honesty, the Bible gives us a whole bunch of examples of inadequate fathers; fathers who didn’t validate their sons. Noah got so drunk he passed out and his sons had to cover up his naked body. Jacob exhibited such immense favoritism to one son that his brothers threw Joseph in a pit and sold him into slavery. David failed to discipline his oldest son, creating a rebellious child who attempted to take the kingdom from his father and eventually died.

Realistically, there is no example of a perfect father here on earth. To find a perfect father, we need to turn our eyes to God the Father. Move to the New Testament and we find it was a big day for Jesus as He walked down to the Jordan River to be baptized. As he came out of the water, Scripture records what happened next:

As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” Matthew 3:16-17

Speaking from heaven, God the Father makes a bold declaration to the world saying, “This is my Son!” In other words, He’s saying, “No one make a mistake about it, He belongs to me. I am his Father and He is my Son!” God the Father makes no ambiguity surrounding His relationship to Jesus Christ. God was affirming Christ during a monumental time in the life of His son.

The affirmation doesn’t stop with God boldly declaring Jesus is His Son. God goes on, “This is my Son, whom I love; with Him I am well pleased.” Affirmation is powerful and we all desperately need it to feel validated! Right here God tells the world that He loves Jesus and is well pleased with Him. Think about this. At this point in His life Jesus has not yet, preached a sermon, healed the sick, raised the dead, cast out any demons, called any disciples, or done any miracles. However God the Father validates Jesus not for what He has done or for the future works he will do. The Father affirms Jesus solely because of who He is—His beloved Son! What an encouragement!

If you’ve experienced a lack of validation from your father growing up, please don’t hold back encouragement in your son’s life. The power of our words can bring life to our sons, name them and draw them out. This is what God to Jesus that day on the bank of the Jordan river. We need to see our sons, Fathers with older children, keep in mind the age of Jesus at His baptism. God remained engaged in Jesus’ life through every step and every stage of His life.

You son needs to be validated by you. Your son needs to be seen by you and encouraged by you. There is a huge power that comes in validating a son.

To learn more about the 33 Series watch the following video