Wednesday, March 24, 2021

The Response of Forgiveness



We all know that we can’t live in this world without being hurt by someone else. We have all been hurt. It might have been by a longtime friend, a family member, or someone we just met. As a pastor I’ve heard countless stories from people who’ve been wounded, mistreated, or taken advantage of. I’ve sat in my office, my house, and coffee shops hearing painful stories that have broke my heart listening to. Some people have chosen to forgive and others haven’t. 

When we refuse to forgive someone we give that person power in our life. Think about this with me. We have been wronged in a situation. For the next day, week, month, or maybe longer we think about the injustice that took place. We might perseverate on the actions of the other person. We play the scenario over and over again in our mind. It distracts us from living our life. We rehearse the conversation thousands of times. We think about what we will say to the person next time we see them. 

This is the hard part to grasp here. Most of the time the other person isn’t even thinking about the situation. They have forgotten it while we have let it dominate our life. We hang on to the past while the other person is happily living his/her life.  

You might have walked in this post today carrying the weight of that wrong that was done to you this week, this month, this year, or many years ago. If that is your situation I’ve been praying for God to speak to you today. 
If you have ever been wronged and struggled with forgiveness this message is for you. 
If you have been hurt in life by the actions of someone else, this message is for you. 
If you have hurt someone with your words or your actions, this message is for you. 

A Gracious King
To help Peter understand the extravagance of forgiveness Jesus tells us a story about a gracious king (read Matthew 18:23-27). True to His teaching nature, Jesus gives you and I an example of forgiveness that we will never forget. In this story the king represents God and the servant represents mankind. The servant represents you and me. The servant owed the master 10,000 bags of gold. This was an incomprehensible amount of money. Historians think that the entire wealth of the Roman Empire was around four to five thousand bags of gold in this time period. For Jesus to use that amount of money would have been incomprehensible. 

The man is unable to pay his debt so the order is given to sell his family and put him in jail until he can repay the master. In the ancient world selling people into slavery to pay off a debt was a common practice. The king knew he wouldn’t get all of his money back but at least he was able to recoup some of his costs by doing that. Look at verse 26 with me. At this… It’s almost as if the words barely left the kings mouth when the servant falls on his knees and begs for mercy. He makes  a promise that he will surely not be able to keep. There is no way he can pay back that debt. 

To the astonishment of Jesus’ original audience, the master had pity on him. The king had compassion on the plight of his servant. No stopping the conversation for deliberation. No consulting with the finance department. The king has the authority and cancels the debt right there. The audience would have been awestruck. They would have never forgotten the story. We’re talking about Peter. He was in the front row when Jesus said this. I imagine Peter sinking his head down a little when he realized how gracious this king is in comparison to what he thought was being generous with forgiveness. We learn a lesson from Peter and Jesus here: Forgiveness requires more than I think is reasonable. 

You might have heard the story about Amber Guyger, the former Dallas police officer who fatally shot an unarmed man in his apartment. On September 6, 2018, she returned home from work and went to what she thought was her apartment. She was off duty but still in her police uniform. The apartment door was ajar, she said, and when she entered she found a man inside. She fired her service weapon, killing him. It was a tragic loss of life. But let me show what is so unreasonable about forgiveness. This is the kind of forgiveness Jesus calls us to. This is the kind of forgiveness we’re invited to participate in. 


An Ungrateful Servant
Act two of our story begins now. The camera fades from the palace to the streets of the city (read Matthew 18:28-31). This is basically the same scenario re-enacted here. Only that this scene takes place between two servants. The amount of money is significantly reduced. The amount of money is possibly equal to 100 days of work. What is so starkly different is the response of the man who was forgiven such a huge debt. He uses violence in an attempt to get what is owed him. He starts out with choking this man for a third of the guys annual salary. 

The fellow servant responds with the exact same words that the first servant said to the king. Both men asked for patience and committed to pay back the entire sum of money. Just as the sum of money is sharply contrasted so is the response of the first servant. The first servant didn’t take pity on his fellow servant. He was bent on destruction. Look at verse 30. When Scripture says: “He refused” it means that he was unwilling. The man who had been shown mercy was unwilling to show mercy. He was unwilling, it was his decision not to forgive. Someone once said: “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.”

Here is an aspect of the Biblical story we can miss. There was a group of people who saw all that transpired. Someone is always watching how we act. They saw the malicious behavior of the servant and told the master. One of the core values at Coastline is: Grace happens here. What we are seeing from this servant is not grace. The king offered grace but not the fellow servant. Which is so difficult to understand because of what he was forgiven. We too need to offer forgiveness because we know the debt we’ve been forgiven. “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.” Martin Luther King Jr. Jesus is making sure we know that forgiveness isn’t natural and we must allow God to rule our hearts.

The Response of the King
We now move to act three of the story; the two original characters are back (read Matthew 18:32-35). To say the king is furious at the actions of this servant would be an understatement. The king wants us to treat others with love, respect, and compassion. He asks about showing mercy. Mercy is giving someone what they don’t deserve. It’s withholding power and showing compassion. This servant was shown compassion but couldn’t extend that same mercy to another servant for a far lesser debt. Jesus is teaching Peter that we need to forgive as we’ve been forgiven. Listen to this: “Here's the problem: We have a strong tendency to think we can receive forgiveness from God but not give it to others.” -Scott Wenig.  

I bet Peter never thought that Jesus would give him the lesson that He did to his question. Peter’s question about forgiveness needs to change the way we view forgiveness. If we are honest, we can all grow in this area. We can be more like the King. Let’s think about this story from a Heavenly perspective. Jesus, the only Son of God, came to earth. He lived a sinless life. He was betrayed by one of his closest friends. Jesus is the King. He is the King who went to the cross to cancel our debt that we couldn’t pay. Jesus chose death so we could have life. It seems to be a reckless decision but He did it on purpose. For us. 

This passage requires action on our part. I have one application for us today: offer forgiveness to someone who you’ve withheld forgiveness from. Who is holding your thought life captive because you keep thinking about how to get revenge on them? It won’t help. Studies show that whatever you’re willing to pay to get revenge on them won’t help. There is someone that you haven’t forgiven. They did something minor or horrible to you. You might need to call them today. This is the eight step in AA. It is to make amends for our short-comings. I’m not asking you to make excuses for a person, or to forget what they did, or to reconcile with the person. I’m asking you to sit with the Lord. Ask God for the power to make the decision to forgive that person. You might want to write the person a letter and let him/her know that you’re forgiving them. Make a choice to grow in emotional, spiritual, and relational maturity. Make the decision to forgive and let God rule your heart today. 

Monday, March 22, 2021

Flawed but Faithful | Week 3 | Small Group Questions



Coastline Bible Church is doing a five-week sermon series called: "Flawed but Faithful." This is going to be a unique sermon series because typically when we read the Bible we are looking for the text to be God-centric; meaning we put God at the center of our focus. But for five weeks we’re going to focus on the life of Peter. We’re going to see that Peter is a human just like us. We’re going to learn that Peter followed Jesus, stepped out in faith, tried to justify himself, and had wild ideas. We’re going to see that Peter is a flawed man who was faithful to God. Peter played a key role in building the local church and because of his faithfulness to Jesus we have the local church. For this series I volunteered to write the small group questions that go along with each sermon. It seemed like a waste to leave them in a file on my computer and not share them with everyone.

Small Group Questions ::: The response of forgiveness ::: Matthew 18

Peter seems to have learned the lessons that Jesus has taught he and the other disciples. The story in Matthew 18:21-35 is the fifth and last account that is unique to the life of Peter. Peter was the most outspoken of all the disciples. You could even call Peter the leader or spokesman of the disciples. Peter asks Jesus a question that seems very generous for this time period. It was significantly over the cultural norm of the boundaries of forgiveness but it wasn’t enough for Jesus. The topic of forgiveness can be a painful subject for many. We have all been hurt at some time in our life. Many of us bear the scars of those painful situations. Be encouraged to start your time in prayer, asking Jesus to guide your conversation on forgiveness and power of forgiveness. 

1) Share about a time when you were hurt by someone and extended forgiveness to that person. Recount what it felt like to offer forgiveness. Did you feel better about the interaction or do you wish you didn’t offer forgiveness?  

2) Read Matthew 18:21-22. Rabbinical law says that you are to forgive a person three times when they have wronged you so Peter looked very generous. What do you think about Jesus telling us to forgive a person so many times? 

3) Neal taught us that forgiveness isn’t: making excuses, forgetting, or reconciliation. Read Psalm 103:12, Isaiah 64:9, and 2 Corinthians 5:18-19. What one of these was most helpful for you to learn/understand about forgiveness? 

4) To illustrate extravagant forgiveness, Jesus told a story (read Matthew 18:23-27). What do you think it would have felt like to have that large of a debt forgiven? Share about a time someone extended wild forgiveness to you. 

5) Immediately after being forgiven such a large debt, the servant acted wickedly (read Matthew 18:28-31). Why do you think this servant in acted in such a wicked manner after being forgiven? Read Luke 7:47 and talk about the response of forgiveness. 

6) The next move in the story brings up back to the two original characters (read Matthew 18:32-35). How has God shown us great mercy and we have failed to show that same mercy to others?   

7) Many people think that getting revenge will make them feel better. Studies show that the opposite is true. Read Matthew 5:38-48. How will you act on offering and asking for forgiveness this week? 

Close your time in prayer. Talk about who you will invite to Coastline Online? 

Wednesday, March 17, 2021

Flawed but Faithful | Week 2 | Small Group Questions




Coastline Bible Church is doing a five-week sermon series called: "Flawed but Faithful." This is going to be a unique sermon series because typically when we read the Bible we are looking for the text to be God-centric; meaning we put God at the center of our focus. But for five weeks we’re going to focus on the life of Peter. We’re going to see that Peter is a human just like us. We’re going to learn that Peter followed Jesus, stepped out in faith, tried to justify himself, and had wild ideas. We’re going to see that Peter is a flawed man who was faithful to God. Peter played a key role in building the local church and because of his faithfulness to Jesus we have the local church. For this series I volunteered to write the small group questions that go along with each sermon. It seemed like a waste to leave them in a file on my computer and not share them with everyone.

Small Group Questions ::: Walking on Water ::: Matthew 14

Last we studied the calling of Peter and today we will look at one of his greatest acts of trusting Jesus. Hours before this story took place the disciples watched Jesus feed thousands of people with five loaves of bread and two fish. After the miraculous feeding, Jesus instructed the disciples to meet Him on the side of the lake. They acted in obedience and it brought them into a treacherous storm. It was in the middle of the Sea of Galilee that Jesus came to them, walking on water. It seems that Jesus is breaking the laws of nature to care for His disciples. In fact, we learn that Jesus is the Lord of creation. But since we’re studying Peter we see his bravery in following Jesus by walking on water with Jesus! 

1) Neal shared about the catastrophic destruction that hurricane Katrina caused in the golf coast back in 2005. Share about a time in your when you were in a literal or figurative storm that caused you to trust God. 

2) Read Matthew 14:22-24. The disciples obeyed when Jesus asked them to get in the boat and head to the other side. Read John 8:51, 14:23, Acts 5:29, and Romans 2:13. Why is it easy to obey Jesus sometimes but other times it seems so difficult?  

3) In the middle of the storms of life, what keeps you committed to obeying the truth of God? Do you find it hard to remember the truth that Jesus has spoken to you in the dark times? Psalm 119:11 teaches us to hide God’s word in our hearts.  

4) We need to know what voice to listen to in the storm  (read Matthew 14:25-27). In the middle of the lake Jesus encouraged the disciples not to be afraid. What are you afraid of right now? Read Isaiah 41:10,  Genesis 15:1, and Psalm 118:6. 

5) Jesus said: “It is I” to the disciples. This would have made them think about what God spoke to Moses in Exodus 3:1-15. Discuss the significance of Jesus declaring His deity to the disciples during that storm.  

6) Read Matthew 14:28-31. Peter is the one disciple who was courageous enough to get out of the boat. Two questions: What is holding you back from getting out of the boat and what is pushing you to step out of the boat this week? 

7) The first thing the disciples did was worship Jesus when He got in the boat. Read Acts 14:8-18. In the boat, Jesus permitted the disciples to worship Him. What does this teach us about Jesus being fully God and fully man? 

Close your time in prayer. Talk about who you will invite to Coastline Online? 

Thursday, March 11, 2021

3 random thoughts on TV




A couple nights ago I was laying in bed trying fall asleep. I starting thinking about TV and what we watch. Growing up I loved Adam Sandler movies. I also watched Days of our Lives with my grandma. When I stayed home sick from school I enjoyed watching the Price is Right (confession: I still enjoy it). Charity and I have watched Survivor, The Amazing Race, and more together. 

Having seen the progress of the television I can share of my thoughts on this. I remember when you had to walk up to the TV to change the channel. I remember being a teenager sitting in front of the TV watching the Watts riots take place. I remember when TiVo came out (I know it's not called that anymore). I remember getting our first DVR. I remember switching to Hulu and cutting the cord. The way we interact with television content has changed in the last twenty years of my life. 

All of this didn’t go through my mind but it might provide some back story to where I’m going here. As I laid in bed I thought these three thoughts: 

1) Who decides what makes it on the news? 
I’m not sure when the news originated. I’m guessing it was once just word of mouth, then went to print, and now we have it on television. I wonder who sits in the News room and decides what makes it on the news. I’m guessing it’s the producer/director. I’m also guessing they are looking for stories that will get ratings. 

2) Reality TV stars make it because their life is so wild. They are less than 1% of the population.
I have three young kids. I remember when the first season of The Real World was aired on MTV. I thought to myself: this isn’t the real world. The goal was to find something so provocative and so compelling that people would want to watch. They created drama and it took off. The show, in my opinion, went downhill. It turned to: drinking, fighting, sex, and drama. But if the goal is to make money and attract views, they have succeeded. 

3) Most reality TV doesn't reflect reality. 
What is reality TV isn’t is reality. What if we are teaching the next generation that reality TV is what life is really like. I enjoy watching shows like: Alaska the Last Frontier and Homestead Rescue. I don’t enjoy the Real Housewives of any city or the Bachelor. I think the latter shows focus on drama. I think the prior shows are trying to show a different version of life. I don't know how to make the change but I'm aware of this as a father. 

So there you have it, my random, late night thoughts on TV. 

Monday, March 08, 2021

Flawed but Faithful | Week 1 | Small Group Questions


Coastline Bible Church is doing a five-week sermon series called: "Flawed but Faithful." This is going to be a unique sermon series because typically when we read the Bible we are looking for the text to be God-centric; meaning we put God at the center of our focus. But for five weeks we’re going to focus on the life of Peter. We’re going to see that Peter is a human just like us. We’re going to learn that Peter followed Jesus, stepped out in faith, tried to justify himself, and had wild ideas. We’re going to see that Peter is a flawed man who was faithful to God. Peter played a key role in building the local church and because of his faithfulness to Jesus we have the local church. For this series I volunteered to write the small group questions that go along with each sermon. It seemed like a waste to leave them in a file on my computer and not share them with everyone.

Small Group Questions ::: Nothing but Net ::: Luke 5

If we were to write a short biographical sketch of the Apostle Peter it might look something like this: Born into a Jewish family in the region of the Sea of Galilee. Raised in a small fishing village called Capernaum. Followed the family trade and became a fisherman. Married. But those statistics don’t define Peter. In Luke chapter 5 we read about a wild encounter that Peter had with Jesus. Peter knew who Jesus was but now would be given a great decision of trusting Jesus. After an unsuccessful fishing trip, Peter catches the largest catch he’s ever seen. At this point Jesus invites Peter to follow Him as a disciple. This was a huge invitation for Peter to leave everything to follow Jesus. Study these questions and see what Jesus is inviting you to. 

1) Our sermon started with some actors who passed on high profile roles. In a sense they missed out. What is something that you feel like you missed out on in life? Can you point to an event that you wished would have gone different in your life? 

2) Read John 1:35-42. Near the Jordan river is when Peter first met Jesus. Jewish people were constantly looking for the Messiah (see John 4:25). Share a time when you brought someone to meet Jesus and how they responded. 

3) We don’t know how long it was until Jesus taught on the shore of the sea of Galilee (Read Luke 5:1-3). Peter was in the presence of Jesus. How do you practice being in the presence of Jesus (see Psalm 5:3, Mark 1:35, and John 1:43-51) 

4) Peter went from the back row to close proximately to Jesus (read Luke 5:4-5). Peter was willing to obey Jesus even when it didn’t make sense. Share about a time that Jesus asked you to do something that didn’t make sense.  

5) Obedience can be a tough thing because it goes against our will. Read Luke 2:51, Acts 6:7, Romans 16:19, and 1 Peter 1:14. Many of our heroes in the faith learn obedience. Where is God asking you to obey Him right now?  

6) Peter has a unique response to Jesus (read Luke 5:8-11). Share about a time when you recognized the depth of your sin and couldn’t handle being in the presence of God. How did that change your faith walk? 

7) This encounter gave Peter a new purpose in his life. He would now fish for men. Read Acts 2:37-41, 3:1-10, 4:8-13, and 10:34-46. Looking at the story in Luke and these accounts in Acts, how were these words of Jesus fulfilled?  

Close your time in prayer. Talk about who you will invite to Coastline Online? 

Thursday, March 04, 2021

Pursue- Week 4 Small Group Questions


Coastline Bible Church is doing a four-week sermon series called: "Pursue." During this series we are going to study the Scriptures about loving God, loving others, living a holy life, and having a healthy marriage or preparing for marriage. This is a sermon series for everyone who is looking to have a little more love in their life. It seems there has been so much division in our Nation over the last several years. Marriages are growing cold. Dating relationships are falling apart under the stress of the pandemic. For this series I volunteered to write the small group questions that go along with each sermon. It seemed like a waste to leave them in a file on my computer and not share them with everyone.

Small Group Questions ::: A Thriving Marriage ::: Ephesians 5

We live in a culture obsessed with Pinterest weddings, shows about quick weddings, and finding love on television. On the contrary, the Biblical standard for marriage is much different than what culture presents to us. God established the marriage relationship in Genesis but the beautiful picture of marriage was quickly marred when sin entered the world. In Paul’s letter to the church in Ephesus he gives us detailed instruction for a thriving marriage. Paul provides an outline for couples to follow in the marriage relationship that can bring us back to God’s original plan. Paul longed to see married couples have longevity and be a witness to those around them. Paul’s instruction involves mutual submission and and an extra serving of love. 

1) Neal started the sermon by sharing about what football players are taught by NFL coaches. Each player is to do their best to help move the ball down the field. Are you trying to do your best to help your spouse succeed in your marriage?  

2) Read Ephesians 5:21. The Biblical command is for the husband and the wife to submit to each other because of their relationship to God. What are some practical ways that spouses can submit to each other as to the Lord? (see James 4:7).  

3) Paul instructed wives to submit to their husbands (read Ephesians 4:22-24). How come the word submission has such a negative connotation in our culture? Read Colossians 3:18 and 1 Peter 3:1 to talk more about submission in a positive light. 

4) The Biblical instruction for men is to love their wife (read Ephesians 5:25-32 & Colossians 3:19). How can men love their wife in the same way that Jesus loved the church? Read John 3:16 for one example of how Jesus loved the church.

5) Men are told to help lead their wife spiritually. What are some practical ways that men can lead their home spiritually? (see Proverbs 18:22 & 1 Peter 3:7). How can women support and encourage their husband in spiritual leadership? 

6) Read Ephesians 5:33. How come Paul told men to love their wife and the wife to respect her husband and not the other way around? Wouldn’t it make sense the other way since women tend to love better and guys understand respect? 

7) Neal invited every married couple to either find a mentor couple or invite a younger married couple to their home. What steps are you taking to invest in your marriage? 

Close your time in prayer. Talk about who you will invite to Coastline Online?