Young Adults Teaching Series- Love Story

Each year I enjoy teaching a series, for young people, that focuses on love in one way or another. When I was a High School Pastor we would alternate years from teaching about love in general to teaching about love in relationships. It seems to always be a hit when you teach about sex in the church; people are curious and want to know what you have to say and what the Bible has to say.

Let me tell about the teaching series we just completed in our Young Adults Ministry. Here is the series overview and a quick overview of the series that I shared with all the people who would be teaching:

Love Story is a five-week teaching series designed to help Young Adults understand what God says about: love, sex, dating and relationships. The series is designed to build on itself to help people grow in their understanding of God’s truth. Some people may have never heard these passages preached. Some people know these passages well. Some people are living contrary what God’s Word instructs. Some people have a legalistic view of love based on an experience earlier in life. The truth of God is radically different than what our world says about these topics. Our main objective is to the teach the Word of God with grace and love in this series. We have an opportunity to help people grow in their walk with Christ through these five weeks.

Here is a broad overview of the series:

Week 1 (February 2, 2017)
Main Text: 1 Corinthians 13:1-4

Week 2  (February 9, 2017)
Main Text: Ephesians 5:21-33

Week 3  (February 16, 2017)
Main Text: 1 Corinthians 6:12-20

Week 4  (February 23, 2017)
Main Text: John 8

Week 5  (March 2, 2017)
Main Text: Matthew 22:37-39

The sermons are up on our new app and will be on the website soon!

Current Statistics on Love, Marriage, Divorce and Sex

Tonight we started a new series in our Young Adults ministry. For five weeks we're going to be studying: love, marriage, sex, purity and the forgiveness of God as it relates to relationships. Tonight I started the series out and talked about love. To help explain love in God's terms I preached from 1 Corinthians:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

We need to reshape our thoughts on love. We live in a sex saturated culture. All you have to do is look online, at a magazine or turn on the TV. Take these ads for example, what is being sold?




These are just two ads that I showed tonight. I think that in our sex saturated culture we've lost the true meaning of love. This leads to our need to reshape our thoughts on love because it's not leading us to a healthy place.

The reason we need to reshape our thoughts and actions is because what we’ve been sold isn’t helping. Let me share some quick statistics on marriage, divorce and sex. Let’s start out with sex. The average person is loosing their virginity now at age 17. A recent survey found for people between the ages of 20-59 found that the average woman has had four sex partners in their lifetime, while the average man has had an average of 7. At least 50 percent of sexually active men and women will have a genital HPV infection at some point in their lives (see this article for stats).

As these statistics relate to marriage, it’s not a shock that more and more people are practicing cohabitation before marriage. I’m sure we all know of a couple who lived together before marriage or has lived with a person of the opposite gender at some point. Cohabitation is the new norm. By the time they’re 20, 1 in 4 women ages 15 to 44 in the U.S. have lived with a man, and by the time they’re 30, that ratio climbs to 3 in 4, the new study shows. 1 out of every 5 women who commit to cohabitation for the first time become pregnant within the first 12 months of their decision. People who choose cohabitation are more likely to come from a home that experienced at least one divorce, which automatically puts them into a higher risk category (see this article for stats and this article).

This is a good transition to recent studies on divorce. It seems that the divorce rate is a hard one to nail down in the US because there are so many different factors that contribute to divorce. I think that many of you know that my parents divorced when I was about 3 years old. And it was tough growing up in a broken home. Current studies show that about 40-50% of marriages will end in divorce. The divorce rate for second marriages is significantly higher averaging around 63%. The divorce rate for third marriages skyrockets to 73%. According to some research, up to 85% of the couples that commit to cohabitation will either break-up or divorce by the end of 10 years.

All of this can seem like the future is bleak but I was to present quite the opposite to you. All of this is bleak if you don’t have Christ in your life. Now I’m not saying that because a person lives their life for Christ that they all get married, not have premarital sex, never get a STD or have a divorce. I am saying that a person who is fully surrendered to Christ, seeking to live a life of love and focusing on living a healthy life can experience a life filled with love.

DO I NEED TO TAKE A DAY OFF?

We live in a culture where it's hard to really take a day off. We are attached to our phones. It's tough to rest with kids. It seems there is always something to complete around the house. How does a person really take a day off and rest?

To answer that question I want to look at the Sabbath from the Bible;


What does the Sabbath mean?
During Bible College was the first time I began to study the Sabbath. Sabbath comes from the Hebrew word Shabbat meaning repose. Repose is a state of calm, peacefulness or rest. The Sabbath means it’s our chance to have a day of calm with no regular work. From what I’ve read about history the Jews would start their day when the sun set. This way the first part of the day would be spent with the family. This is not necessarily a spouse and children; but time with their entire family. Next they would sleep and conclude their day with work. It’s a fantastic way to view the 24-hour day.

In his book The Emotionally Healthy Leader, Peter Scazzero gives a definition that I really like. He says: “Biblical Sabbath is a 24-hour block of time in which we stop work, enjoy rest, practice delight, and contemplate God.” The phrases: “stop work,” “enjoy rest,” “practice delight,” and “contemplate God” give us a perfect road map to help us understand what the Sabbath really means. The Sabbath is more than a day off of work. The Sabbath is more than not working. It involves much more. The Sabbath means we get into a state of peaceful rest with the Lord. We avoid work and truly rest. This is how you can describe Sabbath to others next time someone asks you. (Special thanks to Cathy McIlvoy for her thoughts on this paragraph!)

To further help you understand what the Sabbath means let me explain a little more. The Sabbath is intended to be practiced weekly. One day a week is meant to be dedicated to the Lord. It’s a day where no regular work is to be done. Many people practice their Sabbath day on Sunday. This allows you to go shopping on Saturday, get the house chores done, wash the dog, clean your car and do other things that are work but not your regular job. If you don’t have Sunday off from your job you can be creative on what day you take. When I was in college I had Monday and Tuesday off so I would use Monday as my Sabbath day. The goal is not to be legalist on the day.

Now there are some questions about what is really work. When we talk about the meaning of Sabbath it’s a complete stopping of work. I do my best to take my Sabbath from Friday night to Saturday night. It’s a time where I don’t check email, I won’t slot meetings, I don’t do laundry and I won’t write a sermon. What I will do is clean the garage, wash the car or do yard work. Those are things that don’t feel like work to me. I’m a little OCD so having a clean car feels amazing. When my garage gets cluttered it stresses me out. It’s tough to clean it on a week night so I need to wait until the kids are resting on Saturday afternoon so I can clean it. Yard work actually refreshes me and doesn’t feel like work. There is something, for me, about raking the leaves, trimming the bushes and helping my backyard look more presentable. For you, this may sound stressful. The point of the Sabbath is do no regular work and rest. These are not my regular work and refresh me.

Why was it given?
Once we understand what the Sabbath really means is when we can begin to figure out why it was given. The first time the word Sabbath appears in the Bible is in Exodus 16:23. The Nation of Israel had been working their fingers to the bone. They were under the oppression from Pharaoh. They were required to make bricks so Pharaoh could expand his power and build up Egypt. God rescued His people from Egypt and after crossing the Red Sea the Lord commanded the people to take a Sabbath day (read Exodus 16:23).

Although this is the first time the word “Sabbath” appears, the term “rest” is used earlier in the Bible. In Genesis 2:2-3 God saw all He had made, and then He rested. How come an all powerful, all knowing, God stopped to rest? God didn’t have to rest. The Bible doesn’t say that God was tired. The reason that God rested was to set an example for us. God modeled a rest-filled life for each of us. God knew that He created us as human beings and not human doings.

The Sabbath protects people from burnout and being used for all they accomplish. During the aftermath of the French Revolution, the Sabbath was abolished, being substituted with one day’s rest in ten. Each person was expected to work for nine days and then take one day off. Apparently the experiment was a complete disaster. Men and women crumbled under the pressure and strain of the expectations. Animals were literally falling over in the street and dying for being pushed so hard. People need a Sabbath and that is why it was given.

There is a Bible Scholar who I really respect and he wrote a great part of the Sabbath. His name is Eugene Peterson. He started as a church planter and then became a teacher. He is also known for writing the Message version of the Bible. Listen to what Eugene Peterson has to say about this: “Sabbath: uncluttered time and space to distance ourselves from the frenzy of our own activities so we can see what God was and is doing. If we don’t regular quit work one day a week, we take ourselves far too seriously. The moral sweat pouring off our brow blinds us to the primal action of God in and around us.”

There is an old story about two men who went into the woods to chop down trees (axe picture). As the sun began to rise the men walked into the forest together. In a fun spirit one man challenged the other as to who could chop down the most trees. The bet was set and the day began. After a few hours of chopping down trees one of the men sat down for a quick rest. The other kept working. A couple more hours and the man sat down for a quick rest again. The other man kept working. As the day neared the end the man sat down for another rest! Finally it was time to go home and the counted up the trees they fell. To his shock the man who worked all day long had actually fell fewer trees than the man who rested. As they walked home he asked his friend how he worked less and dropped more trees. His response was quite simple, “While you keep chopping, I choose to sit, rest and sharpen my axe.”

Let’s a quick recap from the first two questions.
The first question was what does the Sabbath mean. Who can give me a sentence answer to that question? The Sabbath means to have a day of rest. The second question we grabbed from the fourth commandment is; “Why was it given?” Who can give me a quick answer to that question? The reason the Sabbath was given was so we can rest and not burnout from the load of work.

How do you rest?

Work is a blessing, not a curse

In our Young Adults ministry we just started a new series called "Work Matters". In this series we're looking at how important our work is. Work should be a blessing but far too many people consider it a curse. In fact, most Christians think that work is a result of the fall but look at Genesis 1

26 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
27 So God created mankind in his own image,
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them.
28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

In the very beginning God created mankind in His image and tasked them with ruling over what He had created. The crown of God’s creation is you! Humans are created in God’s image and tasked with ruling over what God created. The Hebrew word for rule is וְיִרְדּוּ֩ (yir-dū) meaning to rule or tread or have dominion over. After the whole created order is almost finished God creates human beings, He creates them in His image and then passes the responsibility of caring for all the animals over to them. What a privilege! God has spent almost six full days of creating and then passes the responsibility over to us; how He trusts us.

The the Bible moves into what is almost Hebraic poetry in verse 27. There is a repetition of verse 26 here about God creating man but no repetition of the need for men and women to take care of the created order. We move into verse 28 and get to the first blessing in the Bible. The first blessing is to procreate, subdue the earth and rule over it. We see the Hebrew word for rule again in this verse but there is another word. This time we’re commanded to subdue the earth. The word subdue is the Hebrew word וְכִבְשֻׁ֑הָ (kib-su) meaning to subdue or bring into bondage. But when you study the word it’s not a command to rule/subdue with a heavy fist.

When we look at what the original language shares we find that the work of ruling and subduing the earth should be one of a blessing and done with a caring demeanor. It’s a role to care for what God has created and to tend to the created order. Essentially our work should be a blessing not a curse. How come its far too often the other way around? How come the work you do seems to be a curse in your life and not a blessing?

Did you know that over half the people in America aren’t satisfied with their work? In an article Susan Adams wrote for Forbes about two years ago she lays out some stats on job dissatisfaction. 52.3% of Americans are not satisfied with their job. This percentage has been slowly increasing ever since 1987.
The main factors are that contribute to job satisfaction are: experience, including job security, wages, promotion policy, vacation policy, sick leave, health plan and retirement plan. She also lays out that those who make over $125K are more satisfied than those make $50-75K (I feel like I could have told her that). One final stat she laid out that is interesting is that men are more satisfied in their job than women. She doesn’t provide much detail in to that stat, making it tough for us to analyze more.

When I think back to my first job I can totally remember it being a curse. Many of you know I grew up in the mountains of Big Bear Lake down in So Cal. When I was about 14 or 15 I would do odd jobs for people to help make money. I would go to people who had second homes, or vacation homes, and help them out in the summer months and winter months. In the summer I would do yard work; planting flowers, raking pine needles, or trimming bushes. It was hard work. I would come home sore, sweaty and bruised from the labor. Then in the winter I go around after snow storms and shovel people’s driveways. It was hard labor and I felt like I never was paid enough for how hard the work was.

What as your first job like? Was it a blessing or a curse? Did you enjoy the labor or was it detestable to you. How about your current job? Do you enjoy the work you preform? Is it tough but you find it enjoyable? It might be hard work but when you really think about it, the work is enjoyable. Maybe you enjoy your job for the work but the people you work with make it even better! You’re on a great team and you look forward to being with them. Maybe it’s the opposite. Maybe you love your work but not so much the people who you work with. You could find a colleague to be a challenge to be around or a lazy person!

No matter what your feelings are to work, the work you do matters! Another way to say it is, the work I do matters; make it personal. The job you preform matters to God. It’s your Biblical mandate. It’s a command in Scripture that you are to work and it’s also a blessing to God. You might have thought that work is a curse but it was never meant to be a curse. Hopefully studying these first couple verses helps you understand the plan God has for your life and the 1/3 of your life that is spent on work.

Work Matters- Young Adults Teaching Series

On Thursday September 8 we're kicking off a new, six-week, teaching series in our Young Adults Ministry. From your job, errands and keeping your apartment/house clean there is always some work to be done. In fact about 1/3 of your life involves work. Knowing that, we want to look at what the Bible says about work and how a Christ follower should approach work.

There is a great verse in the book of Colossians that goes like this:

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters... Colossians 3:23

This will be our guiding verse for the entire series. We will use this as the theme verse to lead our time through this series.

Let me give you the six-week series overview:
September 8- The blessing of work
Main focus: our worship should be a blessing not a curse
Main verse: Genesis 1:26-28, Genesis 2:2, 3, 5, 15.

September 15- guest speaker John Brandon
John spent his entire career in the technology business, retiring this past October after spending almost 15 years as the Vice President in charge of all of Apple’s international business. Before Apple, he was a CEO of a venture-backed start up and also spent ten years helping build Adobe System’s application software business. He started his career as a salesman with Texas Instruments. John and his wife, Nancy, have three grown children and have attended CPC for almost 38 years.

September 22- Rest from work (Sabbath)
Main focus: we can't always work. We need to rest. God modeled rest for us.
Main verse: Exodus 20:8-11

September 29- Attitude at work
Main focus: how should I act while at work, even when my job is tough?
Main verse: Genesis 39

October 6- Influence at work
Main focus: how can I live out my faith at work and have a positive influence as a Christ-follower
Main verse: Daniel 1&2

October 13- Panel discussion
We're going to close this series out with a panel discussion and hear from others on how they've lived for Christ in their workplace, family and career decisions.

Young adults and Spiritual Growth

A few months ago in our Young Adult ministry we were preaching through the book of Colossians. During one of my sermons, I can't tell you which one, I made a comment about spiritual growth. It was actually more than just a comment. It was something to the effect that most of the young adults in the room had a five year plan in their career or personal goals but no plan to grow spiritually. It was one of those times in preaching when you see you struck a nerve. Faces looked down. Wheels began to spin in people's minds and I could see the Spirit working in lives. It was awesome!

It got better! After the night was over two different people came up to me and asked if I would teach them how to create a plan for spiritual growth. My first thought was, "This will wear off, they will forget." I said I would look at my calendar and get back to them. Well it didn't wear off, it actually gained momentum.

My team helped out and we put a date on the calendar. I thought we'd have maybe 5-8 people show up. We created a Facebook Event for the night and to help it be a success we decided to make it a BBQ at my home (if you feed them, they will come). As the date approached I kept hearing an increased interest. The number was growing and it was super encouraging!

Sunday night came around and we had over 20 young people show up at my house looking for ways to grow spiritually. I was able to pull out a bunch of my old seminary papers, shorten them, tweak them and share what I've learned in the last six to seven years since I began making spiritual formations a huge part of my life. We had a wonderful conversation as we talked about being healthy adults, spiritually growing people and connected in community.

I shared several books that impacted my life. It was great seeing the conversation as others talked about their spiritual life. The questions were fun as you could see people who were longing to grow but felt stuck in life. It was great to talk about the whole things not becoming legalistic but flowing out of a healthy relationship.

It leaves the question, how are you growing spiritually? What is your plan to have a healthy walk with Christ and not jut a five year plan for your employment?

We left the night with a decision to meet back up in three months and talk more. I encouraged the group to come up with their own personal plan. I shared some spiritual growth plans from other people and shared my own. It was good for me to see how badly mine needs to be edited. Once it's done I'll share it on here and talk more about how you can create a plan to grow.

Joshua 24 Responsive Reading

Last week our Young Adults ministry finished up a series on the life of Joshua. We finished with the famous verse that many Christians have posted in their home. It comes from Joshua 24:15 and basically states the commitment Joshua made in front of the Nation of Israel,
"As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

Joshua presented an option to the Israelites to decided that day who they would serve. Would they serve the gods of the foreign lands of would they serve God? Would they serve the gods on the other side of the river or would they serve God? Would they serve the gods in Egypt or would they serve God? Joshua never pressured the people to serve God, he simply stated what he would do and invited the people to do the same.

To conclude the series I wanted to do something creative, something we normally don't do. I had ideas of giving everyone a piece of paper and letting them write out a commitment to God. We talked about other creative ways we could close it and then it came. We decided to do a responsive reading and invite people to respond as Israel did with a commitment to serve God. Understanding the nature of our group I had to set this up well and make sure no one felt pressured or forced to make the commitment. It was up to them to participate or not.

Here's how it went:

Leader- Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness
People- We will serve the Lord our God and obey him

Leader- Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve
People- We will serve the Lord our God and obey him

Leader- You are not able to serve the Lord. He is a holy God
People- We will serve the Lord our God and obey him

Leader- You are witnesses against yourselves that you have chosen to serve the Lord.
People- We will serve the Lord our God and obey him

Leader- Throw away the foreign gods that are among you and yield your hearts to the Lord
People- We will serve the Lord our God and obey him

Character Study: Joshua

During the month of May our Young Adults ministry studied the life of Joshua. We were looking for a person in the Bible to study that you normally wouldn't study. That meant we wouldn't be looking at; David, Jesus, Peter, Paul, Elijah or Moses. It made perfect sense to look at Joshua's life.

(Graphic created by Matt Riley) 

Joshua is first introduced to us in the book of Exodus as Moses' helper. Joshua had a front row seat to the hand of God in the life of Israel. Think about his life real quick. Joshua was born in Egypt, saw the ten plagues, fled from the Egyptians, crossed the Red Sea, saw the Ten Commandments, explored the Promised Land, wandered in the desert for forty years and lead the Nation of Israel to the place God had promised them. That is a full life! That is a life that has seen some of the major things God did for His people.

For this series we broke it down into four weeks like this:
Week 1- Leadership Beginnings (Numbers 13
Week 2- Crossing the River (Joshua 3)
Week 3- Sun Stand Still (Joshua 10)
Week 4- Who Will You Serve? (Joshua 24)

The entire series was a huge win. I spoke the first and last week. The second week we had Christian Huang from City Impact share. Week three we had Adam Darbonne, our High School Director at our North Campus, come and share with us. Thinking back on the series, it was great for our young adults to see a man who served the Lord his entire life and led well. You can listen to any of these messages online.

My hope for our Young Adults Ministry

In our Young Adults (YA) ministry we're currently going through the book of Colossians. The book of Colossians is a great New Testament book written by the Apostle Paul. Starting in Chapter 2,  Paul lays out his purpose in writing the book. The Apostle Paul never visited Colossae but he was aware of what was happening in the city. He knew that false teachers were trying to persuade Christ followers to stop following Christ. The goal of these false teachers was to promote talking about wisdom and worshipping angels; this was a big deal back in Paul’s day. It is still happening now. Paul caught wind this was happening in Colossae and he didn’t want the Christians to be confused with this false teaching.

So instead of being apathetic, Paul engages. Paul engages in a difficult situation. He does his best to make sure that Christ is glorified in the conversation.

Then he talks about his purpose in writing the letter. His purpose helps shape some of my hopes for YA. Here are three things I hope YA will be:

1) Encouraging.
Paul's goal is for the church to be encouraged in heart and united in love. These are tied together; their encouragement in because of their love for each other. The individuals in the church needed each other. Paul never tells them to function on their own; he is always talking to them as a group of people. When you grow as a Christian, you grow best with a group of encouraging, loving people.

My hope is that YA will be one of the most encouraging places on the Peninsula. My hope is people will come on Thursday night and long to come back the following Thursday. My hope is people who are beat up, downcast, under pressure and discouraged will walk through our doors and find encouragement from others and encouragement from God.

2) United in Love. 
Think about this real quick, we live in a culture where we love to cut each other down. I love to say sarcastic remarks and make fun of people but this isn’t Paul’s goal for us. The goal is to encourage in love. The way my brain works is sometimes it’s easier for me to understand what something is when I understand what it is not. Paul does not want the church to be divided. The false teachers were dividing the church.
What are things that can divide the church?

My hope is for YA to be united in love. To do so we will choose to be people who:
Fill the gaps with trust
Believe the best in people
Trust others

3) Understand the Mysteries of God. 
Now that we know Paul's goal is encouragement in love, he mentions this full understanding. Paul doesn’t want them to just know a little and be surprised later. He doesn’t want us to find out information in 140 characters or less; he wants us to have a complete understanding.

There is something filling about having a complete understanding. Its like walking into a test at school and knowing everything that is going to be on the test and more; its like you wrote the book and now you can calmly write it all out. Paul wants us to have this complete understanding also!
All of this concludes with knowing the mystery of God. I find it interesting he calls it “the mystery of God.” The false teachers wanted to have conversations that would confuse the Christians but Paul wants to give them everything. He wants them to know the entire mystery so much so that he gives up what the mystery is. The mystery is Jesus, and this mystery has been revealed to us in the New Testament! My hope is that people find truth in the name of Jesus Christ and understand the mystery of God!