Sunday, December 08, 2013

Confessions of a Pastor: Happy Holidays?

The Holiday's are an amazing time of the year!
We spend priceless hours with our families at the table for Thanksgiving.  
We get extra time off at Christmas to spend with family members we haven't seen in years.

So how come the holiday's are still so tough for me?

You can ask my wife and she would have a kind response to how I struggle so much with the holidays.  I've noticed how my attitude changes around Thanksgiving and I've been examining my life to get some answers.  I'm pretty sure why the holidays are so difficult to me has to do with my childhood.  

While most of my friends were hanging out at their house with their parents, eating family meals, opening presents and going snowboarding I was probably sitting in a car heading to my dad's house.  As I've processed this I'm realizing how coming from a broken home was so tough on me.  I want to make it clear I am not writing this to bash my parents; I love my parents.  I am writing this to share my personal struggles with the holidays.

I thought that when I gave my life to Christ this would magically change... it didn't.  There are some years that are better than others but like clockwork at the end of November I get these unexplainable feelings inside.  I get unsettled feelings.  I go back to my childhood and wish I was able to experience normal holidays (if that exists).

Now that I've pinpointed the issue I've been able to work on it.  As the Holiday's have started I've seen my attitude change, its happening again.  

This year I'm aware. 

This year I'm praying more about my attitude.  I'm thanking God for my family.  I'm asking God to help heal the unexplainable feelings inside.  The best part is being married to Charity.  She has taught me more about the joy of Christ during Christmas than anyone else I've ever met.

Merry Christmas! 

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I am struggling with this too but in reverse. The holidays used to be special, now they are dreaded and full of tears. Turning my heart to the Lord but the loss of Jerimiah is still so fresh, so painful and makes the traditional elements hard to participate in. I finally opened the box of all our ornaments but that is as far as I will ever get... Trying to find the best in it all of it and I pray you will to Neal. Lots of Love, H