One win and one loss

How many of you have ever needed someone to help you out? It might be emotional support during a breakup, a ride to the hospital for a surgery, or financial assistance.

A couple years ago I was getting a tattoo. It was late and the streets of Vegas began to quiet down. My artist had walked outside for a smoke. The shop was silent until a woman slowly peaked her head in. She was looking to get a tattoo and began sharing her story with us.

She couldn’t stand still as she began telling me about how she wanted to get a tattoo for her son. I was surprised because I was in the middle of getting my son’s handprint on my inner arm. I showed her the progress and when she saw my tattoo she began crying. I didn’t know what was taking place but knew a story was coming. Through her tears she began to tell me how her son was killed just a few months earlier.

She didn’t go into details but her face told the pain of the story. Her son was just a few months older than my son at the time of his death. The most painful part was our son’s shared the same name. She tried to leave and I asked if I could pray for her but she rejected it. I have no clue what happened to that woman after she left. But I believe God has kept a close watch on her life.

In the Gospel of Luke chapter 10 we read one of the most familiar stories in the entire Bible. It’s called “The Parable of the Good Samaritan.” For most of my time as a pastor I haven’t taught this passage. My logic is that many have heard the parable and I didn’t feel I had much to offer. But as our church has looked at how the compassion of Jesus changes us, it seemed right to look at the words of Jesus in this familiar story.

Asking the wrong question

Luke provides no specific time frame for this story (read Luke 10:25-29). The man came to Jesus with a hostile question. He is defined as expert in the law. He is not a teacher of the law or a student of the law, but an expert. He presents a question to Jesus in an attempt to be sure he can enter heaven. He knows that eternal life can’t be bought or earn, but inherited. Salvation is a free gift for those who place their faith and trust in Jesus as their Lord and Savior. He’s studied the Scriptures and has a great handle on them.

In fact, the Apostle Paul made sure the church in Rome knew that salvation isn’t something that can be earned (read Romans 8:3). The law was powerless to DO. Salvation is not spelled “do” but spelt “done.” The work of salvation was done for us by Jesus on the cross. Jesus conquered sin and death so we could enjoy eternity with Him in heaven. When we turn back to the story we read that Jesus answers the question with a question. Jesus responds to the hostility with grace of the God.

The Bible points us to the grace of God. The man was able to summarize the truth of God. His answer is correct (read Deuteronomy 6:4-5). He essentially quotes what a devout Jewish person would recite twice a day. It’s called the Shema. The condensed version is a command to love God and love others. His answer pleased Jesus. If you were standing around looking at the crowd you might have seen people give a small golf clap. Onlookers would have whispered to each other. Older Jewish woman would have wished their daughter had married this man.

Through the quiet accolades, the expert in the law broke the silence; he wanted to justify himself. He may have wanted public praise or inner clarity. He furthers his lawyer type response asking Jesus to clarify who his neighbor would be. The man asks the wrong question. Instead of asking who is his neighbor, he needed to ask; “Am I a neighbor?” He didn’t think about who he could bless, or care for, or be kind to, but longed for justification for his actions.

So many times we ask the wrong question. The problem is we are self-centered by nature. We have a tendency to overlook situations that we feel are out of our control. We marginalize people based on our preconceived notions and actions. We’ve been raised in a certain environment and therefore can miss what is happening the rest of our county, state, and country. We think about what we can gain from a situation instead of what we can add. So often we have things backwards and Jesus wants to change our perspective. I’m not condemning us, but pointing on what we need to be aware of in our personal life.

Interrupted travel plans 

Jesus seems unshaken by the question and shares a brief story (read Luke 10:30). The road has been called the road of blood—it’s an extremely dangerous road. Jerusalem sits on a mountain 2500 feet above sea level, you always go down from Jerusalem no matter which direction you take. Jericho was seventeen miles east of Jerusalem and approximately eight hundred feet below sea level.

The man was dehumanized. He is beaten and left half dead in the middle of the road. Given the desert landscape, robbers would hide around corners and in caves to attack unsuspecting people. He didn’t intend to get jumped. Another version of the Bible says, “he fell into the hands of robbers.” This happens so often. Talk to an ex-drunk and they will tell you they never intended to allow their life to spiral out of control. Prostitutes tell the same story, they fell into the lifestyle. I just finished a book called Ghettoside based on the gang lifestyle in Los Angeles. Many of these young men fell into the gang life in their teens to protect themselves; it’s horrible.

We have the scene set and it looks like a crime scene waiting for the police to arrive. Then Jesus says these words (read Luke 10:31). Yes! A priest is coming this way, this guy has to be superman in the story. Surely the priest will be the hero who arrives before the police. But he passes the man by.

Many of you are wondering what just happened. This isn’t how a priest would treat this man. The priest may have just finished his Temple service. He was anxious to arrive home. Levitical law stated he was only allowed to defile himself for a close relative. Only if a close family member passes away can he be near. He doesn’t want to take the risk of this man dying and making him unclean. He crossed to the far side of the road. He did all he could to avoid this man. He throws his hands up, stops quickly, and walks the edge of the road. We must keep in mind he is only a fictional character, but either way his actions are painful for us to read.

Jesus continues (read Luke 10:32). Next a levite comes by. Levites were helpers in the Temple Service. He would have been an assistant to the Priest. Of course this man of God will help this beaten human. Both of these men had to know the Shema and the command to love God and love others. But this man also dances to the side of the road. He turns his head from the desperate situation. He does his best to convince himself it’s someone else’s problem. He justifies his actions in his mind so he can walk on with a clean conscious. A man lies in the road, hanging on to life by a thread, and two men of God have just passed by without offering any help.


It’s tempting to get some righteous anger. We wish we were sitting close enough to interrupt Jesus and make a statement. We want to know why these men passed with doing nothing. In the spring of 2012 I graduated from seminary. Afterwards our family went to lunch. Then we got on the road to head to the hotel. I had my family of four loaded in the car and accelerated on the freeway onramp. Halfway up the onramp was what appeared to be a transient couple. As we drove nearer I could see the woman on the ground clawing to get away from the man. He had fist drawn in the air and was yelling at her. Guess what I did? I did nothing. I continued on the gas and left. God had sent help. I just graduated seminary but for some reason I froze and was useless.

Maybe something like this happened in your life. You had the means to help and didn’t. Maybe you froze like I did. Maybe you didn’t know how to help. Maybe the sight of the blood was too much for you and you went the other way. Maybe you thought the small amount in your pocket wasn’t enough to give away. We’re great at making excuses to keep us safe. We’re great at creating narratives that help us remain arms distance from the place God wants us to engage.

Just like our story, this story isn’t complete (read Luke 10:33-35). Next a Samaritan comes by. This is an emphatic statement in the text. For whatever reason, Jesus intentionally choose a race that Jews hated. The Jews and Samaritans hated each other equally. But in this story, we read that the Samaritan had pity on the man. Another translation might read compassion. In the Greek language it’s to be moved deeply in your bowels. The man had such a deep, inner, sympathy for this man who was hurt. His reaction is a stark contrast to the first two men. If everyone had been holding their breath, it has been let out.

Hope comes when one person shows compassion. That’s all it takes for everyone leaning forward in their chair to relax. The oil would have soothed the pain of his wounds. The wine would disinfect it. This man has been brutalized so bad that he can’t even walk to help himself; he is placed on the donkey and taken from the horror zone. He is brought to an inn where the Samaritan pays for his ongoing care. The amount given would cover about twenty-four nights of lodging and he offers to pay more if the costs increase.

The Samaritan gave his personal resources to help out. He invested his time to help out, he gave his resources to care for the man, and gave his money. All of this he did for a man he never met. What compels a person to act in such a way. He appears reckless in caring for this man.

My friend Gary Gaddini once said, “The greatest things done in Jesus name always surpass reason.” What this Samaritan did is unheard of. The hate between these two groups of people and that one would care for the other. The Samaritan allowed his travel plans to be highjacked to help out a person he never met and may never meet again.

To bring a conclusion to the story, Jesus asks the final question of the encounter (read Luke 10:36-37). I imagine Jesus asking the question in a very humble tone. He is direct and fixes His gaze on the other man. With his head down he gives is answer.

There are some literary clues we need to point out to grasp the weight of this. First the expert in the law couldn’t say that it was the Samaritan who was the hero in the story. Second he never addressed the compassion aspect. He uses a different word. He called him “man” and said “mercy.” His use of mercy suggests the man almost deserved what he got. Jesus tells him to go and likewise. If you want to inherit heaven, have compassion on others. Surrender your life to Jesus and live to help others.

Leadership Quality- Relational

Earlier this month I wrote on the four indispensable qualities of a leader. You can read that post here.

When you look at good leaders you find they have three of these qualities. They are good communicators, are administrative and relational. But if you are looking for a great leader they are going to line up these qualities in such a way to have humility stuck right in the middle to hold their leadership together.

The greatest leaders are highly relational. They engage in conversation, have a great handshake, take an interest in you as a person and make you feel like a better person just because you've been in their presence.

Some are extroverts and some are introverts

It's no secret that I'm an extrovert. Just last weekend I was speaking at a camp and I felt like I was with 300+ of my new best friends. I had a ton of conversations with people of all ages and stages in life. Just because I'm an extrovert doesn't mean that all great leaders are extroverted. Some people are refreshed just by being with others and some are refreshed by being with others.

I've served with introverted and extroverted leaders. I've seen both of them be great at being relationship driven. These leaders have a great sense of people and spending time with them. They look people in the eyes, focus on their sentences and stay tuned in the conversation.

One of my strengths is having WOO (You can read more about it in StrengthsFinder). WOO stands for Winning Others Over. The strength of WOO is that I love to meet new people. I enjoy conversation. I like to hear about people. The dark side is I can be easily distracted and leave the conversation to early. I can loose interest because I'm constantly thinking about winning another person over as my next friend (this is me being vulnerable).

They engage you in a conversation 

Great leaders know how to engage others in conversation. This conversation can be verbal, written, email or text. Craig Groeschel once told a story about his body posture in conversations. His friends informed him that in every conversation he kept his body turned to the side like he was waiting to leave the conversation. He improved on this and others felt more like he cared about them.

Great leaders will look to engage you in a conversation, you don't always have to do the heavy lifting to find them. When they are in a public setting, and it's appropriate, they will strike you a conversation. For a pastoral leader it will be them who might ask how you're doing. They may ask how your Bible time is going or if you're connected in a small group. In other sectors it might look how Casey Niestat lives his life. Watch this video around the 5:30 mark to see this in play.

When I train leaders I highly encourage them to ask people seven questions to show they really care. It's easy to ask, "How are you doing?" but the truth is, that's not really a question any more, it's a greeting we use in California. Ask people where they are from, what they enjoy to do, see if they have a family, where they went to college or what their favorite food is. I avoid asking about work because we don't want our work to define us.

The conversation leaves you feeling great 

When I think back to the great leaders I've met, I've generally left the conversation feeling amazing. The leader may have affirmed something in my life. They leader might have asked me a question about myself or took an interest in what I was focusing on.

Let me tell you what the leader didn't do:
He/She did start checking their phone
Look around the room for a more interesting person
Talk about all their accomplishments
Ask me to read their next book

A few days ago I was talking with a friend who attended a leadership event in Irvine. At this event there was a great leader who I follow Carey Neuhoff. He said the event was so small that he just hung out with Carey. He was bragging about what a great leader Carey is and how fun it was to see him. In his meeting Carey the first thing Carey said was something like, "Man, those are great shoes! I love them." He left that interaction feeling great! That is what great leaders do.

Leadership Quality- Administrative

Earlier this month I wrote on the four indispensable qualities of a leader. You can read that post here.

When you look at good leaders you find they have three of these qualities. They are good communicators, are administrative and relational. But if you are looking for a great leader they are going to line up these qualities in such a way to have humility stuck right in the middle to hold their leadership together.

When I first think of an administrative person I think of some of the phenomenal people I've worked with. I wouldn't consider myself veery administrative but I would consider myself organized. When I was a student ministry pastor my pastor once said, "Neal, look at your desk compared to mine. You are organized. You clean your desk every day before you leave the office."

Have you ever worked with or around someone who is anything but administrative or organized? They can't make an appointment on time? Their desk looks like a small tornado hit and their car hasn't been washed in six months? It just looks like their life is haphazardly happening around them.

Here are three things I've noticed about people who are administratively minded and organized.

They manage their time well

When I first started in ministry I had no clue how to manage my time. Someone would ask for help and I'd do it. A call would come and I'd drop everything to meet the person's needs. People loved how much I was helping them, but it wasn't helping my personal life. One night, at youth group, I asked a leader for help with something I had completely dropped the ball on. She looked at me and said, "Neal, don't make your failure to plan my problem."

I didn't know how to manage my time. It wasn't till I was 29 that I really dove into this. Sophie was nine months old, my work responsibilities increased and I was in seminary. I met with a guy named Bill Randall who took an interest in my life. He helped me manage my time well and it was a game changer for me. I'm not one who likes to plan ahead but I was sick of people calling me at 12:15pm to see if I would make our lunch appointment.

They keep their personal world organized 

My inability to manage my time well spilled over, (probably better to say, rushed over) into my personal life. There was one night I came home for dinner. Charity was done and my food was cold. Charity reminded me that I said I'd be home around 5pm and it was 6:30pm. My personal world was in distress because I couldn't say "no" to other things.

In my short 38 years on this planet I've learned that administrative people know how to keep their personal world in order. Most of them have a routine for sleeping. Many of them eat healthy and make healthy lifestyle choices. They do their taxes on time because they know a paycheck is coming. They keep their bills paid and life isn't a constant mess for them.

When I was younger I had my desk organized but not really my personal world. Growing up was a quick process for me and I had to learn a ton. As you think about being administrative make a point to plan things out. Have a mental, or written, check list of what needs to be accomplished. Be mindful with your time and plan for margin incase somethings goes wrong.

They think about the future

This probably goes without saying, but administrative people are thinking about what is coming next.  I am more of a dreamer. I have great ideas (and horrible ones). I like to think about the future and so do administrative people. I've had many meetings with people who know that the next camp, vision meeting or sermon series is coming. They may not have all the details but they know it's coming. They want to be prepared and help make it a success.

When you think administratively and live an organized life you actually help out those around you. An example in my current setting is this; I currently have a solid plan for the next four months of preaching. After that I have a penciled in plan for the next four months; we will probably do it and its getting more figured out. For the last four months of the year we have a fluid plan of what we're going  to preach on. For us to have this at set is going to be a huge help to our team. People can find creative ideas. We have time to figure out a graphics package for the sermon series. We can even dream about the stage design with time to spare!

Take some time today to plan the future with care. Seek the Lord in all these decisions. If you're not naturally administrative, you can learn. You might not want to exhibit all your energy to being administrative but I'm sure you can think of an area you can improve on.

Leadership Quality- Communicator

Earlier this week I wrote on the four indispensable qualities of a leader. You can read that post here.

When you look at good leaders you find they have three of these qualities. They are good communicators, are administrative and relational. But if you are looking for a great leader they are going to line up these qualities in such a way to have humility stuck right in the middle to hold their leadership together.

Generally when we think about communication we think of a person on a stage sharing. Keep that in mind but also think about other points of communication. Think about daily office conversations, think about written communication and conversations with your neighbor.

Large Group Communication 

In my world we generally call this preaching. I preach about forty-two times a year at my church. I also speak at about four camps a year. I am blessed with an opportunity to share the greatest message I've ever heard. It's a message about Jesus Christ that changed my life almost eighteen years ago.

When I speak to large groups I am mainly looking for three things, preaching that impacts the head, the heart and the hands.

Preaching that impacts the head speaks to the mind God has given each of us. It brings out historical context, explains difficult words, explains topics that aren't common conversations of our day. This means that I'm reading the Greek language to see the flow of a text and the form of the text. It also means I'm reading commentaries by men and women who are much smarter than I am. Then it is my role to help figure out what the person I'm speaking to needs to hear. A student doesn't want to hear about the Greek language but might be fascinated with history. As a communicator you have to understand your audience and what will appeal to their head.

You can't solely speak to the head, you also need to speak to the heart. This is the emotional level of a person. It's the story that evokes emotion. You have an emotional connection with a person because of a common theme, a shared experience or a past emotion. Generally we call these speakers passionate speakers. They are great at grabbing our heart for a certain cause, the poor, the needy or for the Gospel. They speak directly to our heart and get us emotionally involved in the conversation.

Finally we have the speak to the hands. This is the part of communication that drives you to action. For example the communicator might speak to your head and then grab your heart and finally call you to action. A call to action is needed in any great talk. This is what drives us love our kids better, to invest more in our marriages, to share the love of Christ with our neighbors and change the world.

Next time you hear a speaker think of they hit all these areas. There are some Bible passages that might speak more to the head or heart so don't look for equal balance but look for intentionally in hitting these areas.

Small Group Communication

Some people would rather communicate in small settings and not in large settings. Great communicators need to be ready to do either and both. A small setting might be a staff meeting, a board meeting or a gathering of volunteer leaders. What I've found is that I need to be more focused and intentional in these smaller settings. I need to be more prepared for a staff meeting than I think. You can average the amount of time you plan for the meeting by half the length of the meeting.

This can also apply this to those who lead small groups in a church setting. You can tell if your small group leader is unprepared. You know they didn't read the book or prepare questions. But on the other hand, when they are ready it shows. You know they did their homework twice because they got this! In small settings the preparation needs to be spot on.

Think about context and figure out what your small settings look like. When I plan for small setting meetings I think my prep time is about half the same amount of time as the meeting. For example, last week I taught on growing spiritually to our preschool staff. It was a room of about 8 people. It was material I'd taught before but I looked it over four days before and then looked it over the day of for about thirty minutes. When I prepare for our staff meeting I take the time to write the agenda, think through possible questions or concerns that might arise and come in as ready as I can. The longer you do this, the more of a habit it becomes and your preparation time reduces.

Keep this in mind: When you are sharing in any setting it's better to be prepared than wing it.

Written Communication 

When we talk about communication this is an area that can get overlooked. For me, I prefer oral communication to written. Part of the reason I write this blog is to help me clearly gather my thoughts. I am an emotional guy and like to draw people into my stories. But when I write, I need to be short and concise. I like to think "less is more and better is better." I need to check my grammar and make sure my sentences are clear.

We use written communication more than ever now. People are posting on social media. Emails are flying around the office. Blogs are being written. Newspapers are going out. Written communication is not going anywhere and great communicators need to be ready for this.

Let's talk about our written communication.

When texting we have freedom that we don't in emails or other forms. Mostly text messages are short and get to the point. You have grammar errors and lots of grace.

Emails can be different. I expect that every email I write will be forwarded to someone. I'm not saying it is, but it can be. Therefore if I have a tough email to write I will write it one day and let it sit in my draft folder for a day. I might edit it, add to it or trash it. Sometimes in person is the best way to communicate but we don't always have that option.

As you think about your communication be a constant learner and ready to improve in all possible ways!