I'm not sure if you struggle with the same insecurities that I struggle with but you may struggle with this one. See I struggle with finding value in my grade. I didn't realize this until recently but it became extremely evident to me that when I get a bad grade in seminary, or school in general, I get frustrated. This last summer I took a course called "God in Science and Scripture". In that course I was asked to write a final paper. Through a random series of events I found out that I got a "C" for the final grade of my course. Now I could vent about the circumstances that lead to that grade but its in black ink already so its pointless.
After receiving the "C" letter grade I found out that I was super bummed on the grade. I felt like I had put so much effort into the course but obviously didn't learn the requirements for passing the course with a better grade (random side note: a "C" is passing). Last summer I learned that for so long in my life I have found my value in a grade. I find my value in acceptance from others and that is a tough place to wrestle with.
Since getting that grade I have done my best to find my value in Christ. I most of the verses; I have heard the sermons... shoot I have preached the sermons but God brought me to a place in life where I had to find my value in him and not in a prof that I will most likely not see again until heaven.
I want to leave you with two questions to ask yourself:
- What is there in your life, today, that is holding you back from finding your value in Christ?
- What is getting in your way from really becoming the person that God is asking you to be?
I'm with you man... that class was the first and only "C" i have gotten in seminary, I found myself frustrated and making excuses about it... Thank God His love is not based on GPA.
Hey bro I feel ya. I was so mad (and still need to get over it).
Can't wait to see you in a few weeks at Tozer
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