Showing posts with label Baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baby. Show all posts

Thursday, May 05, 2022

The Value of Life



For the last couple days I have seen much on the TV at the gym about abortion. 
My news feed in social media is filled with quotes, thoughts, and comments. 
I would like to add my voice to the mix. I feel this isn’t an issue that I can be silent about any more. Most of you will finish reading this and possibly put a label on me, I'm ok with that. It might be: conservative, Biblical, pro-life, or something else. I am pro-life. It’s  because I have life that I can speak for the unborn. I do this as a father of three children here on earth. I do this as a man who has seen much in this world and who longs to speak for those who don't, or can't, speak for themselves.  

I want to make a few broad statements that will help guide my thoughts: 
(1) I know that I’m not a mother and I don’t know what it’s like to carry a baby in my womb. There are others who might be better to share this but I want to speak as a father who was at the delivery of all three of my children.

(2) The Bible never uses the word: “abortion.” I’ll come back to this later but I want to be upfront on it. 

(3) This is a sensitive topic. I found the definition of abortion in the dictionary: 1) the deliberate termination of a human pregnancy, most often performed during the first 28 weeks of pregnancy. 2) the expulsion of a fetus from the uterus by natural causes before it is able to survive independently. This won’t be a shock and awe message, but a Biblical viewpoint. 

The value of children
In the gospel of Mark we read about this encounter that Jesus has with some children (see Mark 10:13-16). Put yourself in the scene with me today; use your imagination. Children are swarming to be around Jesus, they long to be in His presence. This was completely unexpected and contrary to cultural norms. 

A Rabi wouldn’t allow children to touch Him, but Jesus had them sit on His lap and blessed them. In the ancient world children were considered to be of lesser value then livestock. Many children weren’t given a name until the age of 5. The child mortality rate, at this point in history, was about 50%. At a time when children had such little value, we see Jesus place such a high value on them. 

In the middle of the gospel we read that Jesus was with the children. Jesus showed them value. I like to think of Jesus playing duck duck goose with the kids. Maybe a kid brought out a jump role and they are laughing while jumping rope. What if Jesus did the old pull a quarter from your ear trick on one of the little kids? The unspoken blessing here was invaluable for these children who might have felt unwanted. For Jesus to show these children this much attention would have been a cultural norm breaker. It was one of those things that sticks out in your mind because it is so unordinary. 

You might be wondering why I’m talking about Jesus spending time with children in a post about abortion. I need us to see how much Jesus valued kids. Of everything that Jesus did, Mark thought it was important enough to write this in his gospel account of the life of Jesus. Of all the miracles, the healings, the teachings, the feeding of thousands of people, Jesus spent time with children. It was important for Jesus to invest His time into them. 

Before I trusted Jesus I thought abortions were fine. In my mind, they were a solution to a problem for careless behavior. Most of the friends I knew who had an abortion was because they were careless in their sexual activity. 

Abortion was another form of birth control to solve a mistake. When I look to my past and see my old way of thinking I’m convicted on how I viewed life. I didn’t view life through the eyes of Jesus. Through the eyes of Jesus there is value in all people. Jesus sees the world from a better perspective than I see it. 

When I read about how Jesus lived, I ask these questions: 
What if God is asking us to be like Jesus and show how valuable children are? 
Is God asking you to come alongside a pregnant woman and help her through the rollercoaster of emotions of an unwanted pregnancy? 
Instead of judging people, could you throw a woman a baby shower? 

Knit together by God
Let’s talk about God’s special heart for the unborn (see Psalm 139:13-14). There is debate among humans as to when life begins. God is the creator of life and Scripture teaches us that life begins upon conception. 

God created us in our mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5). God is known as the God of creation. I invite you to write down Genesis 1 and read the creation story. Read it and think about the vast ability God possess in creation! 

Think about the medical profession with me. In one facility you have a team of doctors diligently working to help a couple get pregnant (in-vitro). There is egg retrieval, egg fertilization, conception, and placement of the new baby. Thousands of dollars are spent by a couple to conceive a little baby of their own. 

While this is going on, there is another medical facility in the same town doing the opposite. The other medical procedure is an abortion (remember the definition?). A woman is electing to remove the baby from her uterus. One couple longs for a child and another longs to get ride of a child. What a juxtaposition going on in the world. 

The Bible doesn't directly address the subject of abortion. Earlier I said that the Bible never uses the word abortion. Why not? Because it would have been inconceivable for an Israelite woman in ancient times, under normal circumstances, to consider the possibility of terminating her pregnancy. In the Didache, which is considered the earliest and most authoritative guide to Christian practice aside from the Bible itself, we read these words in Section 2:2: "You shall not murder a child, whether by abortion, or by killing it once it is born."

Think about what the early church taught and listen to these statistics about abortion. According to WHO, every year in the world there are an estimated 40-50 million abortions. That is close to the population of the State of CA. This number corresponds to approximately 125,000 abortions per day. The Journal of American Physicians and Surgeons, found that nearly three-quarters (73.8%) of women with a history of abortion surveyed admitted that they experienced at least subtle forms of pressure to terminate their pregnancies. 

What a contrast from the early teachings of the church. What a polar opposite of the heart of Jesus from His life on earth. 

God teaches us that He creates a baby in the womb and someone is putting pressure to remove that child. When we think about this from God’s vantage point, Scripture teaches us that God sees all of this action taking place (Psalms 33:13-15). None of these actions are unseen by our loving God. 

In fact, Jesus is the Author of Life (Acts 3:15). I love this title for our Lord. Many of these women, who’ve had an abortion, are living in shame. They have reoccurring thoughts about what it would have been like to keep their child. I know because I’ve talked with women who’ve had an abortion. 

Let me tell you what I’ve found regarding the church and abortion. The church can be judgmental. Some mothers need to know that not all babies will go full term. The majority of women don’t talk about miscarriage because it’s so painful. I’ve found that the church can be judgmental when we need to be loving. I’ve found the church can be vocal when we need to simply listen. I’ve found the church can offer advice when people really need are our prayers. Will you be a safe place for others? A person of prayer and listening? 

God sees all mankind 
Let me transition us to some real life situations that are taking place right now. There are women in the church who’ve had an abortion and they are feeling the loss right now. From my conversations with women who’ve gotten an abortion they know the birth day their child was supposed to come. These women remember the day they got their abortion. They have shared, through tears, the pain they’ve endured because of this choice. If you are one of these women, I want you to know that Coastline (the church I serve at) is a safe place to grow in your walk with Jesus. We are not going to judge you for your past choices—we’ve all made choices we regret. 

I’ve sat with women who got an abortion because they thought there was no other option. I’ve also sat with Christian couples who’ve gotten an abortion and feel that loss. Today will you find forgiveness in the arms of Jesus. I invite you to run to the cross and find healing for your pain. Allow the Lord to minister to your heart. Allow the Lord to be a healing balm to your hurting soul. You don’t have to walk through this pain alone. You don’t have to live in the silent pain.

There are women who’ve had any abortion because of medical complications. There are women who’ve had an Ectopic pregnancy (pregnancy that occurs in the fallopian tubes). These women would have lost their life if the pregnancy went full-term. There are women who were told their child had a chromosomal abnormality or a birth defect that would make life unsuitable for that child outside of the women. 

I worked with a woman who was told, early in her pregnancy, that her daughter had Down Syndrome. She choose to continue with the pregnancy and her daughter was completely healthy upon birth. These are real life situations taking place right now.

When a person has an abortion it is never easy. There is emotional trauma that occurs. The role of a believer is to come alongside a person and be a loving example of Jesus. People under stress and thinking about abortion need a loving voice to walk alongside them in life.

When we look at the entirety of this post we can conclude this: Life matters at all stages

Just like the little children came to Jesus, we can point others to the Lord. We can’t talk about abortion and not talk about life mattering at all stages. 

Conclusion
When I think about the delicate nature of a post like this I want to remind anyone who’s had an abortion that God loves you more than you will ever know. If the church has been rude to you, I am so sorry for that pain and condemnation. There are action points each of us can take today. 

Is God asking you to pray for a person or support a family who is pregnant? Maybe God is asking you to foster a child and give them a loving home. Pray about what to do with that extra bedroom in your home. 

Finally, I invite you to repent. If you have judged someone who’s had an abortion, I want you to repent of your sin. If you’ve been rude to someone or used your tongue to speak words that hurt, will you repent today. Find healing in your relationship with Jesus.

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Isaiah is learning to wave!

Today Isaiah turned nine months old! I can't believe that just nine months ago we bought him home from the hospital. Having kids has made me realize how much time really does fly!

This year I'm committed to taking more pictures of my kids and documenting it. Here is a quick video of him waving...


Monday, January 11, 2016

11 Years of Marriage

On January 7, 2005 I married my best friend!

We met as interns at Eastlake Church in South San Diego
I asked her to marry me on the beach in Carlsbad
We got married in Encinitas
Two days later we immediately moved to Vegas to serve at South Hills
We had two kids
Moved to San Mateo to serve at CPC
Just had another kid
And celebrated 11 years of marriage!

When I look back on our lives there are too many thoughts to write down here but here are a few I'd like to share.

We've traveled
I was trying to do the math on how much we've been blessed to be able to travel together. Here is what I came up with so far:
We've visited 6 different countries (Mexico, Canada, Burkina Faso, Italy, Jamaica, The Bahamas)
Set foot on three continents together (North America, Europe and Africa)
Traveled to 12 states (California, Nevada, Utah, Arizona, Oregon, Washington, Florida, New York, Atlanta, Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Hawaii)

And this year we  celebrated our anniversary in beautiful Half Moon Bay, CA. We stayed at Oceano hotel and had dinner at Flavor. It was a great time to hang out, chat and enjoy our marriage. We took some time to look back on life and thank God for all we've been able to do together.

We've laughed
One of the things we've done most together is to laugh. Sure we have our times where we disagree on things but we'd rather laugh together. Sometimes we laugh at each other for silly things we've done. Sometimes we laugh at movies. Sometimes we laugh at the crazy things our kids say or the silly decisions we've made but we sure do laugh a lot and that has kept us in good spirits!

We've multiplied
We were reminded of this fact again this year because we brought our little Isaiah with us on the trip. For the most part he did really well and is the best third wheel ever. We have been very blessed to have children in our youth. We have friends who have struggled with pregnancy and experienced infertility. We are so thankful for the children God has given us!

Thanks for all the fun times Charity! Looking forward to many more.

Friday, May 01, 2015

One Week Later

I can't believe its been a week already...

I'm sitting here watching my son sleep and realized it was time to finally write about the last week.

Last Friday, April 24, was like any other Friday. I walked to Sophie to school. I dropped Leah off at school. Charity and I even went on a date. While we were on our date I realized she was carrying our baby low, I mean real low!

After the girls were back from school Charity went out with her sister to get a massage. Around 4pm she sent me a text message that said something to the effect of: "Grab my bag. Pack my toiletries in it. Pack your bag and let's meet at In-n-Out for dinner and then go to the hospital." I was obviously taken back by it but knew my wife knows her body.

We went to dinner at In-n-Out for dinner around 5:30pm and then headed across the street to the hospital where we were admitted relatively quickly. Charity was checked and dilated to a 3 and 90% effaced. We were staying and getting ready for our son. Around 10pm we met with our midwife and talked about our birth plan. At the end of our conversation she asked me: "Daddy, would you like to help deliver your son?" I was in good shock and immediately replied: "You bet! This is a dream come true."

At about 10:45pm it was time to start pushing, gently. Charity did a great job. I was gloved up and ready to help catch our son. His head came out and next his body. I reached in, grabbed him and gently lifted him up on Charity's chest. It was surreal. At 11:13pm we had our third child.

Isaiah Justus Benson was 8 pounds 10 ounces and 21 inches long.

(Charity holding Isaiah for the first time) 
(Me holding Isaiah for the first time)
(Our first family shot)

Monday, January 25, 2010

My little girl is growing up...

So this post is just dedicated to my amazing family that is growing. Sophie Marie is going to be 17 months old tomorrow and Leah Joy has about 7 more weeks in Charity's tummy until we get to meet her! My girls are growing:

Sophie when we went on Family Date a few weeks ago




















It seems pretty undeniable that she is my daughter















Sophie has a different feeling about the snow than we had expected




















But a few weeks later I took her snowboarding and she changed her mind

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Fantasy Football 2009

So last year I posted something about fantasy football and how I wasn't planning on playing. Last season I won our fantasy football league (and it felt good) but there was something about playing again. I have a very competitive personality and its hard for me to do something without putting my everything in it.

This year I made a decision that I would not play fantasy football and not becasue of anyone in my league, honestly I really love those guys. But this year I realized that I have more important things to do than think all week how I will win and then take the day on Sunday to make sure that I win. In short; fantasy football consumed me last year.

This year when it came time to start back up I gracefully bowed out and let someone else take my spot. Here are the three main reasons that I am not playing fantasy football this year:

1. I want to put more into my marriage
My marriage is going super good right now! Charity and I were talking about marriage the other day and the need to invest into it. I realized that if I said "yes" to fantasy football that meant I would be saying "no" to other things in life. Charity and I are getting ready to hit five years of marriage (by the way we are planning an Elvis re-wedding for Jan!) and that is more important to me than winning fantasy football again.

2. I want to spend more time with my daughter
Sophie is at the best age right now! Yesterday I was laying on the ground playing with her and she climbed on my chest and just started cuddling with me; I loved it! I want to invest in her and if I said "yes" to fantasy football that would mean I would have had to say "no" to some of these great moments with her; I'm not willing to miss out on her growing up.

3. I need to focus on school and finishing that up
Right now I am on track (taking two courses a semester and one course in the spring; when BB2 is due) to graduate Seminary in Summer 2011. I need to make that happen and I think that fantasy football would take away from that. I want to get school done before Sophie is too old; I want to have it done so that I can spend more time with my family and less time at the kitchen table (we don't have a home office) doing homework.

So that is why I'm not playing fantasy football this year; I just don't have time for it.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Wrapping up 2008

Today Charity and I were talking and I shared how I wanted to give an update on all that we did this year. She came up with a great word; "Reflect". We both decided that too many times we fail to reflect on life and remember all that God has done for us. I know this post may be long, but I hope you enjoy reading/seeing what God has done for us this last year.

Winter Camp 2008
This year we did our own winter camp in BrianHead Utah. It was amazing! My buddy Joey Ross came and spoke and Aaron Hoffman lead worship. It was great to see our leaders all jump in and make it happen. We just rented houses and Town Hall and spent time with students. It was so good we are doing it again in 2009

Mexico Mission Trip

I was able to lead a team to a town just south of Ensenada Mexico to build a home for a family who didn't have one. There are some super cool missionaries down there; Rick and Tammie Romano. They have great hearts and run a super effective ministry down there called "The Ensenada Project". If you are looking for a place to serve, contact them!

Translating the Book of Ephesians
This year I took a class through Fuller Seminary where I was able to translate the book of Ephesians from Greek into English. I would say that it was the hardest assignment that I have ever accomplished. I was so happy to turn all the 150 pages of homework in for that class!

Italy Vacation
If you missed the posts from Italy you gotta go check them out! This was by far the best vacation that Charity and I have ever taken. We feel so blessed that we were able to do this before Sophie came. (Little unknown fact: while we were in Italy we thought that Sophie was going to be "Zachariah Charles Benson")









Sophie Marie Benson in the oven
Sophie is by far the best thing to happen to our family this year. Neither of us would know what to do without her!









Hume SD: Middle School
Middle School Camp... was rad! I had a great time with the 8th grade, soon to be 9th grade, boys. They were great and Evan Faircloth is a rad leader, but Chase Feindel really led that camp well! Thanks for all your hard work Chase.




Hume Lake: High School
The students that we brought this year were great, but our leaders did even better! I always tell other pastors that our leaders are one of the main reasons that I keep serving. Without there help and support I don't believe that our ministry would be as effective as it has been out here. Thank you leaders for all your hard work. It is not un-noticed!

Baby Shower
Thank you all so much for all you gave. A special thanks to the McComb's for opening their home to allow us to have the shower there; you guys are truly amazing!

The Arrival of Sophie Marie
You can search the blog back in August to get more updates (click here). Sophie was born on August 26th 2008. She is by far the most beautiful little girl that I have ever seen in the world. Thank you Jesus for letting us have her!





Learning Hebrew
In the Fall I started on my Old Testament work for Seminary. I am currently, almost, half way done with my masters of Divinity from Fuller Seminary. Hebrew has been a huge challenge, but has taught me so much! Wanna see the Hebrew Alphabet? Check this out!

Thanksgiving in So Cal
We had a great chance to do a little So Cal tour this year at Thanksgiving time where we were able to see Charity's parents and my family. It was a great time with family. Click for pics

My Expanded Role at South Hills
This year we had an opening that I noticed on our staff: we had no one championing missions. I prayed that if God wanted me to help with it that my pastor would ask me. About a week later him and I were talking and now I am creating an Outward Team at our church that will be focused on evangelism and serving. I am pretty excited about this opportunity and the chance to grow in my leadership. Thanks for trusting me and letting me lead Bret!

These are just some of the memorable events from the year. Thank you so much for all of you that have prayed for us, supported us to reach students, helped me go on a mission trip and have just been there as our friends. You appreciate all of you!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Baby Sophie Update #1

Sophie is doing really good. She is still in the NICU and getting all her antibiotics; really she is on the road to recovery. Yesterday was a good day, but hard. When we went into see her in the morning she had her "hood" on. The doctors were concerned with her oxygen levels in her blood and this hood was over her head being filled with 100% oxygen. Honestly, it was pretty scary seeing her like this.
The next time I went into see her, probably about 2:30pm it was off. I started to cry. I walked into her room and thought my baby was gone, but just the opposite. Her oxygen levels had risen and she was able to get the hood off.
Over the last 18 hours the percent of pure oxygen she has been given is dramatically decreasing. Thank you all for praying for our little baby.

Last night I was able to hold her for the first time (the one time I didn't bring the camera).
Charity was able to spend some time with her last night and tried feeding.
This morning when we got down she looked amazing. She had just finished eating (she gained about 4 ounces already) and was sleeping. This picture (to the right) is her this morning. She still has oxygen in her nose and a feeding tube down her nose. The oxygen level is down to 21% and the pressure is 1/2 a liter (down from a liter last night). I spoke with the doctor and she has "Meconium Asperation"; which means she pooped in the uterus and inhaled it. She will be on antibiotics for 5 days (total) and hopefully we can take her home Sunday or Monday.
Please keep praying for Sophie and us. This is a draining time emotionally. We are leaving the hospital today without our baby (not the first people in the world to do this I imagine). We are just scared.
Pray specifically for:
* Healthy Lungs
* To gain strength in suckling
* The antibiotics to work
Thank you all so much!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Sophie Marie Benson 8-26-2008

Watch out world, here I come! Welcome Sophie Marie Benson into the world.
Charity and I went to the hospital at about 3pm. By 6pm she was dilated to 8cm and her water was broken. Around 8pm she was fully dilated and ready to go. Our doctor arrived to the hospital about an hour later and pushing began. At 9:44pm out came Sophie:











Here is the first time I held Daddy's hand:

















Check me out! Sophie wanted to sit up and see Mommy, she was tired:
















About 20 min later Sophie was taken to the NNICU (Neo Natal Infant Care Unit) because she had inhaled some meconium into her lungs. She will most likely be there for about 2-3 days. Please pray for God to work in a miraculous way in our baby's life!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

2 days left

So I kinda messed up, missed the Sunday update and now its down to two days until our due date. Yesterday was fairly uneventful. We watched the Chargers game, they won, we went to bed. But at about midnight Charity started having contractions.
She timed them for an hour and was hurting pretty bad. After an hour and a half of those we went to the hospital at about 1:30am. I was pretty sure we were having a kid. She was crying from the pain and then we got there and no more contractions. Well... not no more, but much less frequent.
We stayed there till about 3am and then came home. Charity woke up at about 5:30 with more contractions, took a bath and started timing them. We called her doctor this morning and are going in at 11am to see what is going on. She has been having contractions all morning, so we are just in wait mode (that's what I call it).
Please keep praying that Sophie comes on or before the 28th. Thanks!

Monday, August 25, 2008

4 days left

Today has been a fairly mellow day. Charity is done with work so her and her sister went out and got their nails done. The contractions are not as frequent as they were a couple days ago, but much more intense. This is definitely running our lives right now. I go to work and keep my phone super close. Today is my day off, so I have been at home working on homework all day.
We are praying, and would love for you to join us, that baby Sophie Marie will come out sometime between now and August 28th (which is her due date). We were pretty sure we would have a kid already given how frequent and intense Charity's contractions were at the end of last week. But we are in peace that God knows when she will come.
Last night was the best night of sleep I have gotten since the contractions started. Charity slept through the night, mostly, and got rested up too. She is such a trooper, I have the best wife ever. Well, please keep us in your prayers.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

5 days left

Tonight it hits me again that in about 5 days I can be a dad. I don't want to say "will be" because who knows when Sophie will come out except Jesus. Today was pretty mellow, yet packed. I woke up early (for a Saturday to go to Men's Breakfast: amazing). Got home around 10 and spent some time with Charity and her sister.
Last night I started reformatting the hard drive on her computer because we got a Macbook. Apple is having a sweet deal right now, for the student program (working on my masters at Fuller Seminary) where you buy a Macbook and get a free iPod touch. We are selling her comp to help sweeten the deal and lower the price. Also going to sell the iPod on eBay to help out too (great idea I think).
Then Jessica (Charity's sister) had her boyfriend fly into town and we had lunch with them at the pad. After that Charity and I took a nap, read my Bible, bought a Dyson (comes with a free $40 gift card at Target), then went to Shaun and Krystal's house for dinner.
Today was pretty amazing. The contractions are not much today. She had for about an hour between 8-9pm, but they are almost done now. Not sure what to think. I know she wants the baby out, but God knows when is the best time. Thanks for all the prayers. We love you all!

Friday, August 22, 2008

6 days left

Today marks six days till Charity's due date. We are both pretty scared still. The contractions are still happening so I think we are just in wait mode. I have heard that it can take up to three weeks to get the baby out (not stoked). Charity is not in super bad pain, but I know she is feeling pretty bad. She had some gnarly contractions this morning during breakfast. It is so amazing having her sister her to help us through and work on all this. I am able to go to work and get some stuff done (nothing huge, too focused on making sure she is ok). It is nice, she just got a Macbook, so we can do video chat. I like to see how she is doing.
Please keep praying for us!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

7 days left

Today we went to the Doc and Charity is officially dilated. Our Doc says she is a 1 and 1/2. This means the baby can come at any time. She also was able to feel the head (sounds crazy to me). We had to stay around and Charity was put on a contraction monitor. She was on for about 25 min and had about 10 contractions (I think that is good). She has had a few contractions that lasted longer than 30 seconds, but we still need them to last longer. We are really in just wait mode right now.
I am super thankful that Charity's sister is here in town with us. She drove Charity around to do some errands today. I talked with her about an hour ago and she had some more contractions, please keep praying for us. Sophie will be here before we know it. Also our Doctor told us Sophie is about 6 and 3/4 pounds (not the average 8 pound Benson kid).

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

8 days left

Today marks 8 days left until Charity's due date. We have the nursery set up already. The crib is there, the changing table, diapers, more clothes than I have, toys, books, bath tub things... you name it. I am so excited right now, but so scared. Charity's sister arrived in town last night, so we are pretty much covered (I think). Charity is getting pretty big but she is still so beautiful. I am so excited! The pic is kinda blurry, I took it with my phone, but it looks like she swallowed a bowling ball.
We have had so many people give us advice. I would love to hear one thing that you suggest for us. I don't care if you have kids or not, I just want to see what everyone is thinking.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

38 weeks

Today Charity and I went in for our 38 week baby appointment. If you are like me and didn't know all these baby terms at one time its all good. The baby is typically in the tummy (technical term) for 40 weeks. That means we are just two weeks away from the due date.
My thought (not medical advice) is that the due date is just a random guess to make women feel good and then they have a date that they can make their husbands due everything by. I am not insinuating that Charity is making me due things, I have actually self-initiated many projects. I want the house to be ready for Sophie.