Tomorrow is Easter Sunday. Now when I was a kid Easter was all about getting dressed up in a little suit that was fairly uncomfortable, going to Sunrise Service with my mom and then eating candy. My sister and I would find the eggs, then re-hide the eggs, then hide them again until they were pretty much uneatable.
(Proof of the uncomfortable suit)
So now that I am a man and have my own family I need to figure out what about Easter is going to be important to us.
Will we wake up early to go to church? Probably not Will we hide eggs and eat candy? I am sure of it Will we invite our neighbors to Church tomorrow? You bet!
We're going to do these things because they are important; yes it is important to eat candy (someone has to keep the dentist in business). This Sunday, tomorrow April 4th, I'm teaching at Church about the resurrection of Christ. The more I'm studying this topic from 1 Corinthians 15 I am seeing the need to make sure I live daily for the resurrection.
This Easter Sunday will be extremely important for my family because I want to live for the resurrection and it helps me to do that with a group of people that I love and want to do life with. Now maybe you have that group of people in your life already; please keep going to that church and dive into that. If you don't already have it will you find a place where you learn about God in a way that makes sense to you and challenges you to grow?
Easter is important for so many reasons, more than I can share in this quick post. If you need a place to go on Easter I hope to see you at South Hills Sunday April 4th @ 9am or 11am!
I never thought that my life would end up like this is something that has been passing through my mind the last few days.
I say that in a good way... See if you know you my story, or knew me in high school, you would know that I made some very unwise choices. You would know that I had no regard for my life. You would know that I was crazy and I'm sure that many of you thought you would attend my funeral by my 21st birthday. I always thought that I wouldn't make it to my 18th birthday and when it happened I was shocked.
(I debated adding this picture of Bobby, Conrad and I from when were about 17)
I had no regard for anything...
When I was 19 I received the biggest wake-up call ever. I was driving home to Big Bear Lake and either passed out at the wheel or because I was so drunk just don't remember what happened. I ended up totaling my truck into the mountain and running from the Cops. Those actions landed me in jail being charged with 2 felonies and a slew on misdemeanors. I went to church the next week while I was awaiting my court date and my moms friend looked at me and said: "I had a dream you were a pastor and leading thousands of people to the Lord." I did not return to church because of that comment.
In the next few months of my life I lost everything; literally. After going to jail a few more times I ended up in jail on February 14th 2000 and said something like: "Jesus I need you; if you're real please get me outta here." God answered that prayer. I meet a guy five days later who invited me to church; Brett Wheeler if you never reached out to me I have no clue where I would be.
Fast-forward ten years, one month, and fifteen days. I gave my life to Jesus Christ because the path I had chose was not working and needed some help. I have an amazing wife. I have been blessed with two beautiful daughters and I get to share with high school students about how to follow Christ in their life. God has healed me of my drug and alcohol addiction. I have internal peace and don't feel the anger that used to control my life.
I look back and if you told me twelve years ago that this is where I would be in life I think I would have laughed at you, maybe spit in your face, and went on with my life. God thank you for changing me and putting me where you have placed me...
I never imagined my life would end up like this but I wouldn't change it for anything!
I'm sure this title doesn't shock anyone!
Sophie and I were being funny and... well... she likes to see herself on the camera so it made it to youtube.
So it just seemed appropriate to title this post "Sophie Playing with Her Knife" to catch your attention! Sophie got this super rad wood kitchen set and she shows off her mad cutting skills.!
So this may be a rambling but its something that has been stirring in my mind and I need to get it out (that means it may be crazy talk).
I've been reading the book of Judges and noticing two things that are consistent in the book: 1. Godly Leaders rise up at a needed time 2. People do what they want when they feel God is not present
Right away Judges starts out and I get excited! I see this dude Caleb (Judges 3) rises up and lead Israel and I think; its all going to be ok. Then when he dies the people turn their back on God but this dude Othniel rises up to lead Israel. Once Othniel is dead Israel goes back to their ways and just does what they want but then this dude Ehud rises up to lead Israel and take charge. Well you are going to guess it that after he dies Israel goes back to doing the dirty and seeking out other gods but hope comes again in this guy Shamgar. I don't think I need to say it but once Shamgar dies Israel falls away again. Did I mention all this happens in just one chapter!
The reason this has been stirring in my heart and mind is I keep wondering if God has called me to step up and lead. Then I come to reality and realize that God has already asked me to step up and that is why I lead in our High School Ministry. See the truth is that God has called all of us to step up. The end result I see is: that without Godly leaders to step up the people will just do as they please and dishonor God. That thought breaks my heart and that is why I will constantly step up to help people find God in a generation that desires Him not.
The short story goes like this: On Wednesday March 10th 2010 we took Charity to the doc to get checked out at like 1:30pm. Everything was good and then around 4pm she started having crazy contractions! At 6:45pm we decided that I should go to explode and help teach because we were having a Q & A night for the sex series (my wife is rad!).
I left Explode at 8:30pm came home, changed my shirt and then we were off to the hospital. We got there at 9:02pm and just waited... literally. We did some laps to make the contractions increase and finally at 2:00am we were admitted into our room. We had the best nurse that night; thanks Janet!
At around 3:30am I took a nap (hahahaha) and woke up at 5:30am when Charity's mom and sister arrived. Things progressed and then Charity started pushing and on March 11th 2010 at 7:06am Leah Joy Benson was born. She was 9 pounds 1 ounce and 22 inches long She stole my heart from the first minute I saw her and just like when her sister was born I cried.
I'm currently writing a final paper for my class "Personal Health and Growth in Ministry". Here is an excerpt from it on a topic that has helped me to see myself in a new light.
During this class we were presented with the (w)holistic model of the pastor[1].Another way that this model can be described is a “Biblical Model of Wholeness”.The desire of the (w)holistic model is to enlighten the person on their entire being; stating that we are more than just one or two dimensional beings.The five dimensions that Harbaugh writes about are the pastor as a: physical person, mental person, social person, emotional person and then wraps up the model with overlaying our choices on top because our choices describe who we are.For our study it is essential to add being a spiritual leader to this equation and with that you come up with the entire person we are describing: a pastor.Dr. Peisner used the following diagram to bring a visual aid to the entire person that we are illustrating here:
The (w)holistic model helps to bring light to the many areas of our life; when one area is neglected other areas begin to suffer.When one area is not addressed other areas can overwork in an attempt to bring balance to the pastors life.Healthy relationships help us become a whole person; the difficulty with this is that we live in a broken world and every one of us has struggles we are dealing with.When you see this model, with this illustration, it helps to clarify and understand how complex we are.
The Hebrew word Shalom brings together the personal, interpersonal, and theological significance of the whole person in an attempt to point to different areas of “peace” in ones life[2].Jesus commanded us to love the Lord our God first and then love our neighbor as we love ourself (Matthew 22:37-39).Therefore we need to focus on loving God, figuring out areas in our life that need special attention and working on right relationships with others.When we apply the (w)holistic model to Shalom, and Matthew 22:37-39, it brings to light the Biblical view of personhood described here.
When there is no peace in the life of the pastor it would be prudent to assess ones life and figure out what has gotten out of sync in the model.A major contributing factor for the lack of health in ministry is the pastor not correcting seeing himself how God sees him; many times the pastor does not view himself as a complete person how Harbaugh describes.The body is more than just a physical shell that contains organs, blood, muscles and bones: our life is dictated by our choices and those choices have shaped who we are.
There can be multiple factors that contribute to the life of the pastor spinning out of control.The major problem occurs when the pastor forgets to view himself as a person who is susceptible to failure and begins to think of himself as someone who cannot be stopped and is invincible.Harbaugh states:
“As we become more free from those limitations, we become more free for personal and pastoral response to others.”[3]
A simple analogy is that when a pastor overlooks their physical being and allows himself/herself to become obese the obesity can, and typically will, affect the other areas in the person’s life.The choice to eat could be a result of a deeper emotional issue that has not been address and instead of facing the issue the pastor chooses to eat in a response mechanism to deal with the pain of the unaddressed life situation.The obesity could also be a cover up because the pastor has failed to take care of his/her physical body resulting in the weight gain: the areas of our life are tightly connected.
[1] Harbaugh, Gary L. Pastor as Person (Augsburg Publishing House, 1984) P. 20
We are currently doing a series in our High School Ministry called "Chicas y Muchachos". The point of this series to talk about sex. Yep, you read it right; sex. We want to teach our high school about sex and how to wait. See I have worked with students now for almost eight years and the reoccurring theme I hear is the pain and hurt from unwise sexual decisions. The series has been a home run so far (I never played baseball but have always wanted to say that).
The great thing about doing a series on purity is we get the chance to radically be involved in the lives of the students we work with. The adverse side of this is that stuff comes out. I think there are times that I avoid teaching on a topic because I know stuff is going to come out. Like when the hurricane happen in Louisiana the water filled the sewers and stuff came out that no one wanted to deal with; well we have some rad leaders who are prepared to deal with the stuff that comes out!
Here's how the series breaks out: Week 1: Sex and Love, Love > Sex (Intro week) Week 2: R.E.S.P.E.C.T. (you gotta respect yourself) Week 3: The Difference between Pink and Blue Week 4: Dealing with Lives Hurts Week 5: I got a Question Week 6: The Choice of Purity
See the first three weeks of this series we have just talked about sex and how that impacts us and the world we live in (we live in Sin City) and the last three weeks we are going to talk about healing and how to make right choices to avoid the pain of unwise sexual decisions.
On January 7th 2005 Charity and I got married in Encinitas, CA. The day was not exactly what we had planned but the end goal was for us to be married to each other. We were supposed to have our ceremony on Ponto Beach just north of Encinitas. It hadn't raided in San Diego for about six months and of course the day we were supposed to get married it started raining (not just rain, but torrential downpour).
Well we got the crew together and changed the reception place into the ceremony/reception place. We had some great help from some wonderful friends! The night was so much fun getting to have all our families together for the special night.
Now fast forward five years
Charity and I have been married for five years. We have spent all of those married years in Las Vegas, NV serving in Student Ministries as South Hills Church Community. Well more than just working; Charity finished her Bachelor's degree, we went to Africa, met some great friends, had a beautiful daughter and much more!
We had always joked about doing an Elvis Wedding down on the strip. Well on our five year we did it! We headed to the strip along to Graceland Wedding Chapel with some great friends that we met here (you know who you are). This picture is a bit different (Sophie made it here) and Elvis is in the background. The night was so much fun. Maybe it would be better to say that the night was super funny and full of laughs.
We had a great time. I love doing life with Charity and all the enjoyable moments that we have together. One thing that just makes the story is that Charity is 8 months pregnant with our next daughter!
This years winter camp was amazing! I think that every year our team gets better and better at this trip! When I say "better" I mean more effective. We have been able to extend the trip and keep the cost down. We had two amazing leaders who go up the day before and stock the homes with food so that the students don't starve. We have established a great relationship with Town Hall in Brian Head and are able to rent it out for our meetings. I have noticed that our team (adult leaders) love the trip; it gives them a chance to connect with students over the weekend without missing too much work.
This year we had Brian Berry come and speak and he nailed it. The cabin discussion was wonderful in my cabin, and the leaders shared the same. Christian Calvo came and lead us in worship through music. There is something cool about worshiping in a small room with little amplification and just students voices. This year camp was great: I loved it! Don't believe me? Watch for yourself then!
This week I was up in Redding, CA taking a course at Tozer Seminary. I have been working on Seminary for about 5 years now and this last course falls in my top 5 of favorites. I've been in ministry over 7 years now and have been a pastor for over 6 of those years and this material was new to me. So many times as pastors we go through life almost driven by the craziness of the rush instead of the pace of God. We allow unhealthy boundaries to decide our future instead of planned out, prayerful, decisions. This week helped me to identify areas in my life where I have allowed unhealthy patterns to form and not keep them in check. I wanted to take some time in this blog to just point out some areas we discussed that especially stuck out to me and how I want to change because of them.
*Boundaries are critical for your sanity
*How do pastors embrace emotions and not just "deal" with life situations that arise
*What happens in the Limbic System can effect Brain Stem function
*Teenagers don't have a fully developed Neo-Cortex (brain) and therefore cannot fully think through situations
*What are my personal expectations and who defines those?
*Not all stress is bad; but when you don't manage your stress it gets out of control and can consume you
*Listen to the rhythm of your body
*90% of relational conflict arises from the packaging of the communication and not the context
*Boundaries preserve us for the long haul and create space in our lives for what matter most
*Conflict can bring great health and growth in our life
This course has started some thinking in my life that has never been expressed to me. I am going to work with Charity about outlining healthy boundaries that will allow me to: Love God, Love my family, and be a great pastor. This will require me to say "no" to some great opportunities but it will establish a healthy pattern in my life so I can sustain in ministry and not burn out. Please pray for me to comprehend this material so I can last in ministry and see thousands of people come to Christ in my life!
So this post is just dedicated to my amazing family that is growing. Sophie Marie is going to be 17 months old tomorrow and Leah Joy has about 7 more weeks in Charity's tummy until we get to meet her! My girls are growing:
Sophie when we went on Family Date a few weeks ago
It seems pretty undeniable that she is my daughter
Sophie has a different feeling about the snow than we had expected
But a few weeks later I took her snowboarding and she changed her mind
About three weeks ago I got this on my arm. The tat is in memory of my grandma; Maria Hettler. I could add a better picture but that's not the point. The point is that my grandma was a huge influence in my life growing up. When my dad and mom split up she let us come live with her. From what I remember I shared a room with my grandma until I was five; she was an amazing woman.
Every day after school we would head to her house, after we moved out when I was six, to go have dinner with her. I can remember countless times that she picked me up from school because I was "sick". She was a huge help to us growing up and I can remember that we pretty much did everything with my grandma. I would shovel her walkway when it snowed, stacked wood for her, go in the creepy shed in the backyard and even pick her flowers from her front yard.
I know I will never forget my grandma but this is going to help others know about her. My grandma was Catholic so the praying hands with a rosary seemed appropriate. Her name is in there but hard to tell from this pic. So thanks Grandma for all you were for us; I wouldn't be the man I am without you being there for me!
So the rumors are true... I turned 30 this year! When I was growing up I never thought that I would live past my 18th birthday; it is evident that God has a different plan for my life than I thought. This year's birthday was so amazing. Charity totally surprised me with some of my favorite things and gave me some new adventures in life.
On my birthday we went to family dinner at my favorite restaurant, pretty much of all time, Bonefish. This place is amazing! If you have not been you have to go check it out; I love the food, the service is top notch and one of my friends owns it so that is always nice! Charity made plans for us to go on a family date; which I totally loved cause it is always a laugh having Sophie around!
Then for the big surprise... I drove a Nascar! That is me in the drivers seat of car #45! Charity and my mom went in and got this package deal where I drove the Nascar on the track here in Vegas. The deal is called the "Richard Petty Driving Experience" and it was totally worth it!
So I'd have to say that this was the best birthday ever! Not to mention; we finished it off on Sunday with the Chargers beating the Cowboys! Go Bolts!
This year we are doing a Christmas series in our High School Ministry called: "Putting Christ back in Christmas". Lately I, as a pastor, have been extremely convicted by the way society has treated Christmas. This event that is supposed to be about Christ has turned into a consumer holiday that is all about gift giving. I am not against giving gifts, but I am discouraged about the lack of acknowledgment of Christ that has taken place in our society.
The first week of this series I challenged our students to make Christmas about Christ and not about gifts that we put under the tree. I want people to; give gifts, to show their appreciation of others, and to spend time with others this Christmas season but not at the cost of forgetting about God invading the world to save our lives.
This Christmas season will you think about where your priorities lie? What matters most to you this Christmas; are you concerned with getting the best gift, or are you worried about not having the financial resources to get the gifts that your children have asked for? Whatever your fear may be this Christmas will you take some time to really remember why we celebrate Christmas?
She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” Matt 1:21 (NIV)
We don't have that many things have become traditional in our High School Ministry. The way we work is that we want to make sure God is calling us to do it; if it works well then we do it again, if it is not impactfull then we cancel it! About four years ago we had a leader who said something to the effect: "Lets do a cheesy Christmas sweater party this year Neal." I have to admit that I was hesitant, at first, but God has used this event to grab students hearts and change lives.
This year we are doing it again and Adena Rossiter (she runs our SL program) made this video with our SL's. I love it!
Before I was married I passed this store in the mail and thought: "Really? People do that?" Yes they do build their own bear and that is exactly what Sophie and I did (thanks for taking the pics wifey!)
So we got to the store and Sophie picked out the first bear she saw (I helped her choose)
Then after you choose your bear you get to fill it up: Sophie hated letting that bear go!
After that you pick out a heart to put in the bear: Sophie decided to throw it on the ground to make sure it was tough
Then we had a Teddy Bear
After that we named our bear; and Sophie wanted to call him "Teddy No No". Not to sure how that worked out but she stills looks for him when I call him "Teddy No No" and she loves that bear we made!
Yahoo helps me out as my homepage because it shares with me some stories that I want to see; and some that I don't. Today a headline caught my attention so I decided to read some of the story. The story shares the girls side who is involved in the action so I thought I would add the video also; we all know a picture is worth a thousand words:
After watching the video I was shocked! I wanted to write the girl and tell her how horrible this is... but I waited... and thought... and remembered back to when I didn't know Christ. I used to play soccer and I got my team in some fights after our games. I am so competative and when I was growing up I had so much anger in my life; I would have done something like this in the heat of a game (not sure if I would have done it multiple times).
Lets fast-forward ten years now; I think of how different my life is right now but seriously I am not above doing this kind of action. I am just as susceptible to sin as the next person in the world. When Christ impacts your life things change; you don't do the same things you once did, your life transforms. I have had my share of fights and this clip reminds me how much I need Christ to help guide my actions and life.
I'm taking a class on the writings of C.S. Lewis right now and looking at how that ties into Christian Appologetics. This week we read The Last Battle and this quote stuck out to me:
“He did not see at the moment how foolish it was for two of them to go on alone; nor did the King.They were too angry to think clearly.But much evil cam of their rashness in the end.”
I'm beginning to ponder how our foolish decisions can affect so much. About three weeks ago I spoke on James 3 and taming the tongue and that combined with this is really beginning to shape my heart and make me check my motives and how many of decisions are based/not based in prayer and the leading of The Holy Spirit.
