Flawed but Faithful | Week 5 | Small Group Questions

Coastline Bible Church is doing a five-week sermon series called: "Flawed but Faithful." This is going to be a unique sermon series because typically when we read the Bible we are looking for the text to be God-centric; meaning we put God at the center of our focus. But for five weeks we’re going to focus on the life of Peter. We’re going to see that Peter is a human just like us. We’re going to learn that Peter followed Jesus, stepped out in faith, tried to justify himself, and had wild ideas. We’re going to see that Peter is a flawed man who was faithful to God. Peter played a key role in building the local church and because of his faithfulness to Jesus we have the local church. For this series I volunteered to write the small group questions that go along with each sermon. It seemed like a waste to leave them in a file on my computer and not share them with everyone.

Small Group Questions ::: A  New Job Title ::: John 21

We started this series looking at Peter leaving his occupation as a fisherman to follow Jesus. For three years Peter followed Jesus, sat under His teaching, walked on water with Him, and knew the power that He had. Near the time of Jesus’ crucifixion, Peter denied knowing Jesus in an attempt to protect himself. As Jesus hung on the cross Peter was no where to be found. In the throws of discouragement, Peter goes back to fishing. Things didn’t turn out how he had planned. In John 21 we read about Peter’s restoration as a disciple. Take note that this story takes place on the same shoreline that Jesus called Peter to leave everything and follow Him. 

1) In 2016 a group of university students put up a chalkboard on the sidewalk of a busy New York intersection. At the top of the board was written: “Write your biggest regret.” Share your biggest regret in life. 

2) Read John 21:1-3. Things didn’t turn out the way Peter and the other disciples planned so they returned to fishing. Their hope was for Jesus to be a conquering king not a humble servant (Mark 10:44-45). What do you do when your plans fail? 

3) Read John 21:4-9. A potential reason the disciples returned to fishing was to meet their physical needs. Share about a time when the Lord provided what your needed despite of your fears. (see Psalm 22:26, Matthew 6:31-32, & Philippians 4:19) 

4) For some reason the disciples seemed to not recognize Jesus (read John 21:4, Luke 24:13-32, and John 20:11-18. Share about a time that Jesus was working in your life but for some reason you didn’t recognize it was Him at work. 

5) The night that Jesus was betrayed Peter denied knowing Him three times. Read Matthew 26:69-75, Mark 14:66-72, and John 18:25-27. What do you think Peter was experiencing in the days after denying Jesus? How did he fell?   

6) Read John 21:15-19. Jesus takes Peter for a short walk and invites him back into the original plan of ministry. Where is Jesus inviting you to care for others? (see Romans 12:17, Philippians 2:3, Colossians 3:23, & 1 Peter 5:2). 

7) Although Peter had failures in his life, he didn’t allow the failures to define him. This account in John 21 would have been helpful for the early church. Share about a time you made a mistake and how the Lord used that mistake to encourage others.  

8) Close your time in prayer. Talk about who you will invite to Coastline Online? 

Mother's Day ::: Small Group Questions

Coastline took a break from our regular sermon series to bless mothers this Mother's Day. Mother's Day brings different emotions for everyone. Some women love this day. For other’s it’s a reminder of a broken relationship with their mom. Some are reminded that their mom is no longer with them. Some women are longing to be mother’s. Others are thrilled to celebrate all. For this sermon I volunteered to write the small group questions that go along with each sermon. It seemed like a waste to leave them in a file on my computer and not share them with everyone.

How to Bless Mothers ||| Various Passages 

In the beginning God created mankind in His image. Genesis 1 tells us that mankind was created in the imagine of God. Once a year, at Coastline, we focus our attention to appreciate, bless, and encourage mothers. Mother’s Day is a time to reflect on the spiritual influence that mothers have on their children. It’s a time to be reminded of the great investment that woman have done to raise another generation of children who are influenced but the Word of the Lord. It’s not only biological mother’s who are raising the next spiritual generation. Spiritual mothers have stayed up late, gone on camps, and spent their money to invest into the lives of younger believers. Take some time to work through these questions and learn what Scripture teaches and investing into others. 

1) Neal and Charity started out sharing two very different memories. Can you think of a time that you totally blew it on Mother’s Day or a Mother’s Day that was a blessing?  

2) Read Genesis 16. In this dark time in Hagar’s life we read that God was close to her. Share about a time where you thought God was far from you but realized that He was near you every step of the way. (see Deuteronomy 4:7 & Hebrews 13:5) 

3) Choosing to trust God in difficult times might not be your natural reaction. Read Psalm 20 and Proverbs 3:5-6. Talk about the reasons you have to trust in the Lord. Share about God’s faithfulness in your past. (see 1 Corinthians 1:9 & Hebrews 11) 

4) Neal shared the story of Samson’s parents (Judges 13). What do these parents teach us about allowing God to shape our parenting? You might not be a parent, what do you want to take away for potentially being a parent in the future?  

5) Charity read Deuteronomy 6:5-7. How have you applied this to your parenting? How do you want to apply this to your parenting style as your move forward?   

6) In our world it is easy to delegate the task of parenting to others. Read these verses and talk about the great responsibility of raising children in the love and instruction of the Lord: Psalm 78:1-7, Proverbs 3:1-12, Colossians 3:21, & 2 Timothy 3:15. 

7) Scripture reminds us of people who devoted their life to teaching others about the goodness of the Lord. Who are you investing your life? (see: Matthew 28:18-20, Romans 16:1-2, Acts 16:11-15 and 2 Timothy 2:2) 

Close your time in prayer. Talk about who you will invite to Coastline on Sunday.

Here is the entire worship gathering if you'd like to watch it

3 Ways to grow spiritually during COVID-19

The last several weeks have been some of the wildest weeks of my life. And my guess is your life too.

From seeing the e-brake thrown on the world, to the stock market roller coaster, to the unemployment level rising, to domestic violence on the rise, and suicide hotlines experiencing an increase in calls. It's not all bad news. We've seen drive-by birthday parties, the launch of SGN on YouTube, churches blessing people and more.

As we've been going through COVID-19 here is something that I've learned. This is how I've tried to maintain spiritual growth and focus.

1. Read your Bible each day
This one isn’t going to shock you. Think about driving a car. You are with your friend visiting the town they just moved to. You’re driving along the 1 right along the beach. Your friend begins to point out her favorite surf spot and the car begins to drift in that direction. It wasn’t her fault; the truth is that we are drawn to where our eyes are fixed.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to watch Hulu as much as the next person, but this is not a time to just binge all day long.
I can’t watch/read the news all day. New information is coming at us like rocket speed and it’s tough to process it all.
Social Media will never fill the need that only God’s word can.

I invite you to find a Bible reading plan. You can start reading the Proverbs. You read one Proverb a day based on the date of the month. If today is April 17, read Proverbs 17. Read the book of 1 Peter. Peter writes to exiles who are suffering. Perfect timing. Read the Gospel of Mark. It’s fast-paced, and action-packed! You get to learn about the life and ministry of Jesus.

2. Go on a prayer walk
Your body needs spiritual and physical exercise. Take a break and go for a quick walk. What if you took that time to share your thoughts, fears, dreams, and prayers with the Lord?

In my county we are still able to exercise outside. I know you want to endlessly scroll social media and catch up on all the updates. I know it’s great to read the stories of working at home and my co-workers just nap all afternoon. Put the phone done and talk to God.
Pray for this virus to be beaten.
Pray for your church.
Pray for your family.
Pray for your Governor to have wisdom.
Pray for your neighbor who lost his job.
Pray. Pray. Pray.

3. Care for your neighbors
This can be tough in social distancing but easy to do if you know your neighbors. Make sure your older neighbors have a ride to the store. Maybe call them and get their shopping list and pick up their groceries for them.

One person I know has called the single moms in her life and asked how she can help. Some of them have neighbors already sharing the load. Some have family members doing the shopping. Some need help.

Bake something and drop it at your neighbors doorstep with a kind note. This has happened to us. It is so cool when the kids walk out the door and find that. It has helped them feel connected to the rest of the world while social distancing.

What are some ideas that you can share?
What is missing or can be added?

7 Ways to Make Successful Resolutions

We are moving to a time of year where many people will make a resolution. In the past I have preached on these resolutions so I can almost quote what many of them are. You probably know them too. We've all made some or heard a friend talk about their coming goals for the New Year.

Most people will make a resolution that involves one of these:
- Loose Weight
- Get our of debt
- Go to the gym
- Get a better job
- Clean the garage
- Read the Bible/go to church
- Stop drinking alcohol

In recent years, studies have found that about 12% of people actually accomplish their goals. Wipe your eyes, clean your glasses, and read that again. Only 12% of people will actually accomplish their New Years Resolutions.

How come there is such a horrible fail rate?
Why can't we seem to find success in this area?
What is causing me/others to fail?

These are all questions that we need to answer. One part is that we are naturally lazy. One author wrote that is the job of the brain to conserve energy. Going to the gym takes energy. Think about that for a minute!

Another reason we fail is that we are not disciplined. That is hard to read. Say it out loud and it sounds worse! We lack the disciple it takes to create new, healthy, habits in our lives.

Now, I am one who loves goals and how found seven ways to help make your goals a reality:

1) Get Creative

Instead of saying that you will go to the gym every day for the next 52 weeks, what if you made a different goal? The truth simple; you haven't been to the gym for the last 4 years so what is going to be so special about this year?
I'm not trying to be rude, but honest. I have a standing goal of being in the gym 3-4 times a week. I know my schedule and what it takes to get to the gym. The gym is close to my work, less than a half-mile away. But it is still hard for me to get there.

Also, we need to change our language. I listened a book this year and the author made a comment like this about goals: "Stop saying you will try to go to the gym." Saying "try" gives you the excuse. Replace it with saying: "I will go to the gym." It changes our ambition in the later statement.

2) Think Marathon and not Sprint

If we keep on the gym topic, we need to think marathon and not sprint. I know that some people say a marathon is just 26 miles sprinted together. I've never ran a marathon. In fact, this was a goal of mine like 12 years ago. Then I started running and puked. I realized I wasn't built for running so I needed to shift my goal.

The marathon concept is tied to a length in our goals. If your goal is to do blah blah blah (fill in the blank), figure out how long it will take. Then figure out what you need to do each week to make it happen.

3) Create Achievable Goals 

One of my goals last year was to hike Half Dome in Yosemite. I had looked at that rock since I was 6 years old and wanted to sit on the top. I had been applying for a permit for a couple years. I needed to get creative. I put a false deadline on it. I told myself that I had to climb it before I was 40 years old. I could have climbed it at 41, but I  need a push.

To make it more achievable I started walking more. I made it a goal to walk 3-5 miles a day. Then I would take a longer hike each month. I love being outside so this was a no brainer.

4) Insert Fun 

See my hike to Half Dome was a fun goal. So many of the goals that I have created in the past were boring. I am going to be honest, the gym is fun for me but the gym is not fun. For me it's a way to exercise and continue tot be an athlete. I go to the gym because I view myself as an athlete. I want to be able to hike Half Dome, snowboard, fish, surf, and ride bikes with my kids. Going to the gym helps me stay fit so I can accomplish some greater goals I have in life.

Think about something fun you've been wanting to do. Go to Hawaii, travel the States, save up for new car. Make this fun! Create a game out of it. When I would hike, I would put my son on my back to help strengthen my legs. I made it a game and accomplished the hike.

5) Share Them

Last year I was reading a book by Mark Batterson. In the book he said that you need to write down your goals and share them. I began sharing one of my goals with a few friends. Guess what? I didn't hike Half Dome alone. When I shared my goal I found support from others. I had guys talking about the gear they had, how they are prepping, and more. It was epic to summit the dome together.

One of my goals for the last two years has been to start writing a book. Guess what? I haven't done it. Do you know why? Because I don't have anyone asking me how I'm doing on making progress. I really want to write a book... but I keep putting it off.

6) No Lone Rangers

This ties right into the last goal. We were never meant to do life alone. Find some people to support you in your goals. I have a friend who went on a journey to loose weight. He lost like a 100 pounds (that is like me loosing two of my kids). He didn't hide his weight loss. He was super open about his failure to care for his body, and how eating was an addiction. He was super honest and got so much support!

Do you know why CrossFit works? Because you have others who are supporting you. I did CrossFit once and it kicked my butt. Then I left and said: "I want to do this more." We were made to life in community. Find some trusted to friends to share your goals with. Ask them to walk along with you.

7) Keep them Visible 

I typically write my goals and keep them in my phone. I look at them like 6 times a year. This year I'm going to change that. I'm going to write them on a piece of a paper and put it near my bed and then make a copy that goes to my office. I want to see them. I want to know what I'm working towards.

You can do the same. Write them with a pen, studies show we are more likely to remember them if they are hand-written. Tape them in your car, your office, or get them tattooed on your arm. Actually, don't get a tattoo, that is a bad idea.

What am I missing from this list? I need to keep excelling in goals.

Daniel Chapter 5- Small Group Questions

Our church is currently studying the book of Daniel. For ten-weeks we're walking through the book and talking about living a courageous life. For this series I volunteered to write the small group questions that go along with each sermon. It seemed like a waste to leave them in a file on my computer and not share them with everyone.

Small Group Questions
A Bad Night in Babylon
Daniel 5

Nebuchadnezzar had passed from the scene; Belshazzar was now ruling Babylon. We have a history gap. We don’t read all the linage of the king but the author wants us to focus on the faithfulness of God. The events that play out in Daniel 5 are a fulfillment of the prophetic announcement that Daniel gave in response the King Nebuchadnezzar’s dream in chapter 2. Take your time to work through Daniel 5 paying close attention to the need to worship the Lord and his faithfulness.

1) Share about a time you had a bad night. What made the night and how did things improve or degrees in the morning?

2) Read Daniel 5:1-4 and 1 John 2:16. Talk about how the party in the Old Testament was an event that didn’t honor the Lord. What does the Apostle John have to say about such type of actions?

3)Read Daniel 5:5-6. In what types of situations do you hear people say, “The handwriting was on the wall?” Did they listen to the handwriting or fail to heed it and learn a lesson the hard way?

4) Throughout the book of Daniel we’ve seen the author communicate the futility of idol worship (read Daniel 2:5-6, 3:15, and 5:7-9). An idol is anything we place above the Lord our God. Discuss how we allow idols to distract us from seeking the Lord.

5) Pastor Neal said that we need to set ourselves on the side of God. What are you doing this week to intentionally set yourself on the side of God? What patterns have you established to help you do this and what personal patterns do you need to break (reading the paper, watching TV, checking your phone, etc)?

6) Read Daniel 5:18-24. Daniel gives the king a historical account of how his predecessors didn’t seek the Lord. What do you think the king was thinking while hearing Daniel give this prophetic denouncing?

7) Daniel 5:30 has an ominous ring to it. Read Luke 12:13-21. Both the rich fool and Belshazzar had focused more on selfish desires than helping others. What can we learn from these men about living our lives for the Lord?


Close your time in prayer

Daniel Chapter 2- Small Group Questions

Our church is currently studying the book of Daniel. For ten-weeks we're walking through the book and talking about living a courageous life. For this series I volunteered to write the small group questions that go along with each sermon. It seemed like a waste to leave them in a file on my computer and not share them with everyone.

Clarity in Chaos
Daniel 2


Nebuchadnezzar’s first dream, imparted to the monarch early in Daniel’s experience in Babylon, is recorded in this chapter. The dream is significant because it provides a history of the world through four successive Gentile empires. During the final phase of the fourth empire, all earthly dominions will be destroyed, and the kingdom of God that will endure forever will be established. Moreover we learn about the faith of Daniel and his three friends, their commitment to God, and desire to serve the Lord.

1) Did you know that studies show the average person has three to five dreams a night? About 95% of our dreams are forgotten. Share a fun dream you recently had and what made it so special.


2) King Nebuchadnezzar had a vivid dream but wouldn’t tell anyone about it. The Bible tells us about another leader who had a troubling dream (read Genesis 41:1-40). Discuss the similarities in the story of Jospeh and Daniel. How did God help these men in both cases?


3) When we think about Daniel 2:1-11, it helps show the futility of trusting in anything except for God. Share about how you’re currently trusting in God during a confusing situation or how you’ve trusted in God in the past.


4) In Daniel 2:18, we read that Daniel immediately went to his friends and they “pleaded for mercy from the God of heaven…” Who do you have in your life that goes to God in prayer for you?


5) Read Daniel 2:20-23. Take some time in your group to praise God. How can you make praising God a part of your daily life?


6) In Daniel 2:27-30, Daniel makes it clear that God gave the answer to the dream. How can we make sure to give God the glory in our daily lives? Share some practical ways to implement this on a weekly basis.


7) How do we become part of God’s effort in the world to help more people find and follow Jesus?


Close your time in prayer

7 Questions with Danny Strange

Danny Strange is a Christ follower, husband, father and pastor. Danny grew up in the East Bay and ministers at the church where he met Jesus. Danny is married to Jessica and they have six amazing children. Danny is currently the Executive Pastor at 3Crosses Church in Castro Valley. Danny has a passion to help see more people enter a life changing relationship with Jesus Christ.

Danny and I met at Hume Lake back in 2005 or 2006 while we were both serving as Student Ministry Pastors. We went to the camp the same week of summer for years and formed a great friendship outside of the week of camp. When I moved to the Bay Area in 2012 we began hanging out more regularly and eventually formed a pastors group together. Each year we meet with a great group of guys for 48-72 hours and talk about the great things the Lord is doing, share our hearts and pray for each other. I'm stoked Danny answered these questions and think you're going to love learning from him.

1. You’ve served at your church for almost two decades, how has longevity helped you in ministry? 

It's been an awesome blessing to serve in the same church for 18 years now. There's something about being an insider that is super helpful in ministry. It's so fun to know our church's history, legacy, core values (and most of all, our people) at a really deep level.

2. Doing ministry in the Bay Area is fast paced, what is a piece of advice you would give to someone who is thinking about moving there? 

Choose not to get sucked into the fast-paced life. Refuse to put your kids in 5 different sports. Guard your workweek. Go home on time. Honor the Sabbath. Build rhythms for your ministry and your family that trump the rhythm of society around you.

3. You’ve served in a variety of capacities at your church, tell us more about your new role. 

I've been serving as Executive Pastor for the past nine months or so. My role, in a nutshell, is to add value to our church ministry. This can happen through strategic initiatives, fixing problems or helping our staff stay on the same page.

4. Headlines seem to be full with pastors who’s marriages are falling apart. I know that you and Jessica have a great marriage. What is one thing you do to keep your marriage strong and fresh?

Our favorite thing to revitalize our marriage is getting away for a full week every year with no kids. It's the best. We vacation with our kids too, and take smaller trips, but the seven days we spend in Mexico every October is the best.

5. There are many men who don’t have a life outside their work and family. What is one hobby you enjoy doing and that fills you up?

I love travel and exploring. Every year I try to head out of town numerous times with various groups: Myself alone with God, Tahoe with friends, retreats with other Pastors, Mexico with my wife, various trips with my whole family.

6. You recently adopted two amazing girls, how has that changed your family dynamics and given you a glimpse into the heart of God? 

Adoption is a crazy party. Our house is loud and fun and exhausting and we're always cleaning up after someone. Although it's amazing to add some females to the mix (we have four biological boys), the girls have also added a ton of value in their extrovert-ness. Thanks to the twins, our boys are learning how to show emotion and how to come out of their shell from time to time. Sure, adoption reflects what God did for us in adopting us into His family, but for us, adoption has helped us see the messy chaos that is the church in our own home.

7. If you could give your 20 year old self one piece of advice what would if be?

Don't spend so much time dreaming about the future that you miss out on experiencing life in the moment.

Israel 2017- Day Six

This morning we woke up in Jerusalem. We've been traveling a ton and starting to feel a little tired. The temperature is much colder here than it was by the Dead Sea. If you’re planning to visit Israel, I’ve heard this is the best time of year. I would rather throw a jacket on than be burning hot! If you’re planning to come and visit here I would say the weather has been great! It did rain a little today but it wasn’t too bad.

Shepherds Fields 

Our first stop was the shepherds field. This is the location where the angels came to visit the shepherds and announce the good news of the birth of Christ (Luke 2:8-18). Now we obviously don’t know exactly where it happened but we had a chance to visit a cave where shepherds would have slept and kept the sheep. The shepherds used to stay in caves. We visited a cave in the ground here. They would bring their sheep into the cave for protection from wild animals. This is also the area where David might have taken his sheep.

It’s interesting that the angel would bring this news to the shepherds. Shepherds weren’t well respected at the turn of the century. History tell us that many of them were slaves. They were considered dirty and lesser in society because of their occupation. Shepherds were chosen because they traveled. This means they would have spread the news to others based on their transient nature of finding food for the shepherd
Used as the social media of that time.

When they went immediately it means they would have left their sheep in the open field or in the cave that night. It was a risk in an area full of wild animals. At that time in history there was lions, tigers and hyena in the area. God protected them as they traveled the 4 kilometers to Bethlehem. It’s different standing in this area thinking it was once considered to be the wilderness. Today it is surrounded by a city but thankfully the area has been protected.

Bethlehem

Our next stop was the city of Bethlehem. Bethlehem is most known for the birth of Jesus Christ. Before the brith of Christ there are a few other events that took place in Bethlehem:
- This is where Rachel, the mother of Joseph, was buried
- This is the hometown of Naomi (Book of Ruth)
- This is where Ruth stared in the hit movie, how to find a loving husband (Ruth 2)
- Since Ruth is the grandmother of king David, this is his hometown

We learned that the city has a population of about 50,000. Of this number about 80% are Muslim and about 20% are Christian. The region has a population of about 200,000 in total. Our guide for the day (we had to get a new guide for today only) had a ton of current information as well as historical data to share.

We're standing in The Church of The Nativity right now. The location is believed to be the birthplace of Christ. How do we know this? When the Romans came in the did their best to destroy all areas of Christian worship. They built an altar here and it saved the location from being built over. Basically, the Romans helped to mark out many of the locations that are important to Christ followers.

It’s crazy to think that Believers have worshipped here for over 1500 years. There three different groups that worship here: Armenian, Greek and Roman Catholic. The church is currently undergoing renovations. This is the first renovation that has taken place here in 300 years.

As we walked down to the cave where Christ was born it was a moving experience. This is actually one of the few locations where we have been told “this is where this happened”. Mostly our guide will say: “It happened in this area” or “This is where we think it happened”. While standing in the cave we had a chance to see where Jesus would have been born and then were the manger would have been placed (Luke 2:1-7). I got all misty-eyed thinking about what Jesus did for me!

Bethlehem will no longer be words on a page for me. Bethlehem will be images in my head. It will be sounds in my ears. It will be memories that I pray won't fade away. It will be pictures on my camera. This town we visited has me so much joy because this is where Christ was born, this is where my life changed!

Jerusalem 

This afternoon we rested. We've been going hard and we were tired. After relaxing this afternoon, Charity and I walked to the Old City of Jerusalem. We looked at shops, did some window shopping and then grabbed a slice of pizza.

After dinner we went to Christ Church. It's the oldest Protestant Church in the city (If I remember correctly). We really enjoyed the service. The entire service used no amplification. The roof is rounded and the acoustics sounded great. Worship was super good and very moving. We went to the 7pm service and honestly I was a bit tired. The pastor spoke about choosing life from Deuteronomy 30:11-20.

We just made it back to our room and it's time to sleep!

Book Review- Surrender To Love

Title- Surrender To Love

Author- David G. Benner

Pages- 112

Publisher- InterVarsity Press

Recommend- Yes

Favorite Quote- "The point of the spiritual journey is not simply to be received back into the welcoming arms of love of the Father but to become like Father." (page 89)

I'm not really good at surrender. In fact, I'm really competitive and not much of a quitter. I've never really thought of my life as a Christ-follower of being about surrendering to love. I've thought about surrendering to Christ. I've thought about learning to love. I've thought about giving up my desires. I've thought about how to love those I don't love. I never really thought about surrendering to love.

In this book David G. Benner talks about surrendering to love which is, in essence, surrendering to Christ: "Christians often focus on obedience more than surrender." (page 10)

I started reading this book a few months ago (a side note: I have 15 books I've started and haven't finished right now). When we were heading out on vacation last month I knew I didn't want to watch TV every night. That meant I needed a book. Since this was only 112 pages it was the right choice. I knew I could finish the book, learn and feel like I accomplished something.

I'm not a ferocious reader. Reading is hard for me. This book made me think a ton. I don't think I ever picked it up and read an entire chapter (its only 5 chapters long). The way Benner writes is in such a way that it required me to stop and think. It made me evaluate how I've been living my life. It required me to stop and pray. And all of those things are really good when you're learning to surrender to love.

If you're looking for an easy read, don't grab this book. If you're looking for a challenging read that will press up against what you've thought about life and your part then go ahead and pick this up. But I am warning you that you might learn more about surrender than you wanted. Once you've learned about it, you will have to do something about it. And that could be the best thing for you!

11 Years of Marriage

On January 7, 2005 I married my best friend!

We met as interns at Eastlake Church in South San Diego
I asked her to marry me on the beach in Carlsbad
We got married in Encinitas
Two days later we immediately moved to Vegas to serve at South Hills
We had two kids
Moved to San Mateo to serve at CPC
Just had another kid
And celebrated 11 years of marriage!

When I look back on our lives there are too many thoughts to write down here but here are a few I'd like to share.

We've traveled

I was trying to do the math on how much we've been blessed to be able to travel together. Here is what I came up with so far:
We've visited 6 different countries (Mexico, Canada, Burkina Faso, Italy, Jamaica, The Bahamas)
Set foot on three continents together (North America, Europe and Africa)
Traveled to 12 states (California, Nevada, Utah, Arizona, Oregon, Washington, Florida, New York, Atlanta, Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Hawaii)

And this year we  celebrated our anniversary in beautiful Half Moon Bay, CA. We stayed at Oceano hotel and had dinner at Flavor. It was a great time to hang out, chat and enjoy our marriage. We took some time to look back on life and thank God for all we've been able to do together.

We've laughed
One of the things we've done most together is to laugh. Sure we have our times where we disagree on things but we'd rather laugh together. Sometimes we laugh at each other for silly things we've done. Sometimes we laugh at movies. Sometimes we laugh at the crazy things our kids say or the silly decisions we've made but we sure do laugh a lot and that has kept us in good spirits!

We've multiplied
We were reminded of this fact again this year because we brought our little Isaiah with us on the trip. For the most part he did really well and is the best third wheel ever. We have been very blessed to have children in our youth. We have friends who have struggled with pregnancy and experienced infertility. We are so thankful for the children God has given us!

Thanks for all the fun times Charity! Looking forward to many more.

Confessions of a Dad: I love my phone too much

"Hey dad, wanna play?"
Looking down at his phone, "Give me one minute, I'm almost done."

Dear Dad,

Look up from your phone for just one minute, I'd like to tell you something. Your kid is only going to be this age once. Tomorrow she will be older. Today she wants to play: Legos, hide and seek, soccer or Go Fish. So why not play with her?

Do you know there is going to be a day that she isn't going to want to play with you. Sure, you'll still have your phone. In fact, it will be an upgraded model with more "cool" stuff. There will be more apps and games for you to play. But she will always be your kid, there is no trading up here.

Let me ask you: "Is what you're doing on there really that important?" I mean, can it wait? Do you really need to check your email every five minutes? Will the posts on Facebook still be there when she is in bed? Is it more important to check Craigslist right now?

Let me give you an example to help you. Walk to your room. While you're walking turn your phone to silent. Look at your dresser, there is tons of room there. Set your phone down, try facedown. Now walk out, leave it there.

I'll stop telling you how to live your life, I can see you're either frustrated with me or get the point. I know being a dad is tough for you but fight for her. She wants to play with you. Remember how big she smiles. Remember how much she laughs. She loves you!

Put your phone down, it can't really be more important than her.

Signed,
Me

This is a letter I wrote to myself and I'm sending to myself. It's not for you, though it may speak to your situation. The letter is for me. I'm sick of stuffing my face in the phone, so it's a reminder I need to focus on my family and what really matters most.

A Prayer for Driving Home

As a dad I feel a responsibility to be engaged with my wife and kids when I arrive home from work. There are days I am ready to run in the house, kiss my family and play whatever game my kids are already playing. Then there are days where I would prefer to sit in the car and listen to another song trying to prepare my heart.

The bottom line is: we all experience good days and bad days in our jobs. We bring the emotional weight of these responsibilities into our home after work. We have two options when we encounter a difficult day in the office:
We can enter our house and express our emotions negatively to our family
We can choose to take advantage of the time in our car, on the way home, to pray

I wish I could say I always take the second option, but I don’t. Normally I do choose the second option and sometimes I find myself praying as I’m parking or when I walk up to the door. Generally I pray a similar prayer; it goes something like this:

God, you know how my day has been today. I’ve played all four quarters hard and I’m spent. This is where the rubber meets the road. Please give me your strength as I enter overtime. Right now is the most important part of my day, I only get two hours with my family. I don’t want to give my family my leftovers. Please energize me for what I need to focus on when I walk through the door. I can’t do this on my own Lord, I need you. I pray this in Jesus name. Amen. 

Do you have a prayer you pray before you get home?

Campus Pastor /// Year One Reflections

One year ago, today, I walked into Central Peninsula Church to start a new leadership role.  I wish I could say I was fully prepared for this role, but I wasn't.  I wish I could say I wasn't nervous the first day I walked into my new office, but I was totally nervous.  The one thing I was confident in the day I started my new role is: God has called me here.  Because God has called me here I want to share some big lessons I've learned in my first year of being a Campus Pastor.

Power of my words
When I was leading in High School Ministry my words had a good deal of weight, so I thought.  This year I've learned the power of my words.  There was a particular occasion when I said a simple yes to one of our leaders.  That yes was put into motion.  It wasn't a bad yes.  It wasn't a yes that anyone would have questioned; I needed to say yes but I learned how important every decision I make is.  Leading at the current level I'm at holds a much larger responsibility than I could have ever imagined.  This year I've learned how powerful my words are.

Team Value 
I've been blessed to work on many different teams in my life: soccer teams, football teams, mission teams and staff teams.  This year I had a huge leap as the one who leads the team.  Weekly I sit around a table with sixteen people who look to me as the team leader.  This year I've learned how important it is for our entire team to feel valued for who they are and what they bring to the table.  I have been super blessed to work on an amazing team and I value them dearly.

Transition
The first year can't be filled with all positive things.  The transition didn't happen immediately but it happened.  About six months into my first year our Elders made a tough call and we asked our High School Pastor to resign from his leadership position; that was tough.  At the end of June I was prepping to leave for our High School Houseboat trip when I had a regular meeting with our Children's Director.  During that meeting she pulled out a piece of paper and suddenly, and unexpectedly, resigned.  Transition on any team is going to happen, what matters is how you lead in transition.

Communication
When I started at CPC I felt like I was a pretty good communicator.  I had a style I had been using for a while and I never thought I'd change my communication style so drastically.  I like to give a manuscript of my message to my pastor to read before I preach.  One day, as he was leaving the office, I asked Mark if he got the copy I emailed to him.  He let me know he had it.  I quickly responded: "Make sure you're sitting down when you read it because its gonna be so amazing I don't want you to fall over."  The next day Mark gave me my manuscript, bleeding red with all the edits I needed to make.  He was right, it needed to change.  This year I think Mark has helped me become a better communicator.

Lots of Firsts
I've been in pastoral ministry for almost ten years now.  I've experienced many firsts but this year was a year of firsts for me.  From leading out on my first baby dedication, to speaking to over 1800+ people at our Outdoor Service and even having a chance to host the Global Leadership Summit.  This was a true year of firsts for me and it was a great learning experience.  Through all my firsts I was able to form new relationships with people on our Foster City Campus and in the community!

As I reflect on my first year of being a Campus Pastor there isn't much I would change.  I'm thankful our Elders gave me space to learn about the culture and DNA of CPC.  I'm thankful for all the new relationships I've made.  I'm thankful (and humbled) for the new level of leadership God has asked me to lead at.  Last week I was interviewing a potential High School Pastor and he asked me: "How come you're not taking the role, you seem like you would be the perfect fit."  It was nice to confidently respond: "Because God has called me to be a Campus Pastor."

Criticism Bites /// Book Review

Title: Criticism Bites

Author: Brian Berry

Pages: 122

Publisher: Group

Recommend: HIGHLY

Quotable: "Instead, when it comes to criticism, we need to think both practically and theologically about how God can use criticism in our lives and how we can learn to respond to it in healthy ways." Pg. 53

I'm no stranger to criticism... and if your have air in your lungs you probably have experienced your fair share of criticism.  I can recall many times in my life that criticism brought me down, almost left me debilitated.  Brian addresses a real issue many pastors are struggling with in the church.  As I was reading there were a few times I caught myself thinking: "I wish someone would have told me that 8 years ago."  It reminded me of situations I didn't handle so well and helped me think about ways I can improve on my leadership when those situations arise again.

See the previous seven years I pretty much only read books related to seminary but not anymore!  When I got Criticism Bites into my hands I thumbed through it and immediately knew I needed to read this book right away (If you know me, I would prefer to do almost anything before I pick up a book but there is something different about this book).  I put aside the other book sitting on my dresser, cleared my TV watching schedule and got to reading.

One thing I really appreciated about Criticism Bites is what's contained in these pages comes from a ministry veteran.  Brian isn't writing this book to just sell another book, Brian is sharing wisdom from his heart.  The best part is the wisdom he shares its super readable and applicable.  When you read this book you're going to think you're sitting at the local coffee shop talking with Brian over a latte.  Brian provides solid wisdom from someone who has been there and done that.  I could go on and on about how amazing this book is but the only way you're going to really learn how to deal with criticism in a healthy way is to shell out the $12 and start reading.

Bottom Line:  If you have ever experienced criticism in your life, you will know how much it bites!  Brian brings the truth of God and practically ministry experience to this book that I'm going to call a must read for every person in ministry!

A Morning of "Firsts"

This Sunday morning was a morning of "firsts" for me

I feel like I have done most pastoral responsibilities in my life.  I have preached sermons, officiated weddings, helped ordain pastors, preached Easter, baptized people, preached Good Friday, officiated funerals, lead staff meetings, preached Christmas Eve, helped license new pastors and done my fair share of counseling.

This weekend was a weekend of firsts for me as I did my first baby dedications.  I have never done baby dedications before; probably because no one wants the High School Pastor to dedicate their kid and say something dumb.  This weekend I dedicated 5 babies at our church and I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything dumb.  The best thing is I feel like I was able to play a huge role in the lives of these families over the last couple weeks and I hope that continues.

At Central Peninsula Church we are in a series right now called "Come and See".  In this message series we are looking the first twelve chapters of John.  This weekend I preached on John 2:13-25.  Now it wasn't my first time preaching but it was my first time being on video at one of our other campus'.  To be honest I was a bit nervous.

I have never had to be so prepared in my preaching before hand.  I had to make sure to look at the camera, a few times, to help the campus feel engaged.  I had to make sure my jokes were funny (they weren't).  I wanted to make sure the campus felt included.  I did my best to make mention to our South Campus and what God is doing there.  Its fun being a part of one church that meets on three locations!

Here is a link to the message I preached (same morning; second service)

Church History in Plain Language: Book Review

Title: Church History in Plain Language

Author: Bruce L. Shelley

Pages: 532

Recommend: Yes; for sure

Favorite Quote: "Despite widespread and determined efforts to eliminate the new faith, it survived and grew.

Taking this class on Church History rocked me!  This book helped me to learn about the 1900 years of Church History that I really had no clue about.

I remember one night an Elder called me while I was reading this book and as we were talking I told him that I am ashamed.  I was ashamed that I have been a Christian for twelve years and was so ignorant about the leaders who paved the way before me.

This book was great to learn about so many spiritual leaders and the impact they had on shaping the Church as we know it.  It was fun to see the impact of the monks, the dark ages, the church fathers, the Catholic church and every other significant point of history that brought us to where we are.  If you haven't read a book on Church History consider reading this one.

Denomination: Blessing or Curse

I know that there are some people who swear by having a denomination that they are affiliated with and others who prefer to be on their own.  I have really been a part (on staff) of churches that are affiliated with a greater group of church.  Now I know that people are going to have their reasons for either way and we all have our personal preferences but let me share some of my experiences in the last seven years at my church.

When I was hired I was required to get licensed, and ordained, through our denomination.  I really didn't know much about what I was getting into but when I started studying more I really started agreeing with their stance on theological issues and doctrinal points.  It took me about two and a half years but I finally was ordained September 2007 through the Christian Missionary Alliance (now called The Alliance.

The longer I was with The Alliance the more I learned and the more I appreciated them.  I began to find out that more of our churches are located overseas than an in the United States.  I also learned that we had missionaries in Vietnam that never made it out alive and it was tragic.  Once Vietnam was opened again (as a safe country) we sent missionaries in who started making connections and found out that The Alliance was strong over there!  We actually had over 1,000,000 Christians in Vietnam when the missionaries went back and its so cool to see the involvement in spreading the Gospel.

In May of 2009 something happened that I would never have imagined.  Our founding lead pastor resigned due to moral failure.  I was shocked and had no clue what to do.  The great thing is that within two days our District Supervisor was in town and helped out with everything that happened that week.  I was in meetings I never thought I would be in and learned so much that week from the leadership in The Alliance.

On Sunday, April 15th, something really cool happened.  Our District Supervisor was back in town and we had lunch with him before the restoration service for Bret Johnson.  It was very cool to see that our group of churches hadn't abandoned a fellow worker in Christ when he made an unwise choice.  I have been able to spend time with Bret over the last three years and spend lots of time working with our denomination.

In the last couple years I have been able to help other workers get licensed and ordained with The Alliance.  Is our denomination perfect?  Nope, not at all but I trust that I am involved with a group of churches that radically care about advancing the Kingdom of God.

Leaders are Learners: Part 2

Yesterday I started talking about how leaders are learners.  I am convinced that once you stop learning you will loose your ability to lead.  You may not loose it right away but over time you will loose any edge on leadership that you once had.  I'm sure that people will still come to you to ask questions but there will come a time when you cannot answer the newer questions because of your lack of understanding of the topic.

In my life here are two areas that I plan on learning about so I can be a better leader:

LEADING MY FAMILY
I am a firm believer that my second responsibility in life is to lead my family (my first being to lead myself).  One of my New Years goals is to be a better leader in my family.  That is going to require me to take classes, read book, talk with friends and be extremely honest with others.  One of the first steps that I am taking to lead my family is to be a part of a marriage group this year.  I know that being a part of this marriage group is going to stretch me in life (especially because I am the facilitator of the group).

I want to learn to be a better husband

I also want to learn to be a better dad.  I have realized that in the last couple years of being a dad I have not been as present as I would like to be.  I share that because its true and I want to be better.  See I have taken the time to invest my time, and energy, into seminary for the last six years.  Seminary is getting ready to come to an end so this year I want to focus on being a better dad.  I want to keep taking my little girls to doughnuts.  I want to keep spending time with them and telling them they are beautiful.  I want to spend time with them where the TV is off and my iPhone is out of reach.

LEADING IN THE CHURCH
I feel there is some great leaders in the church (global) right now but I also feel like there is a leadership void.  I feel like the church, and the world, are ready for the church to step up and take her true place of leadership.  As we have leaders begin to learn more about pastoral ministry, empowering members and making disciples I think we will see the void begin to fill but that will take time.

I think a main aspect of leadership in the church is going to come from spiritual mothers and fathers taking the time to invest in the younger generation.  I know I fall in the "younger generation" category but I want to help develop those younger than I am.  I want to be a resource for those who are curious about spiritual matters.  I want to help people understand how to study the Bible.  I want to not just say it and really do it.  That is why I will be teaching a Foundations of Christianity Class at our church starting next week.

As you think about your life: Where do you see God opening doors of for you to learn in your life?  Are you committed to being a person who learns in life or are you just settled with the place you are?  I want to encourage you to take the time to focus on self leadership, leading your family and then being a leader in the church.  The world is looking for people to lead; will you be one of them?

The "Almost Done" Letter

Earlier this month I spent a week in Redding, CA working on a week of seminary.  While I was up there I was handed this letter:

Now this letter isn't the easiest thing in the world to read but it says a key line in there:

"If you successfully complete the above courses as scheduled, you will finish the requirements for the Masters of Divinity program as listed above."

This is something that I have been working on for over five years now and to be handed this letter was crazy emotional.  There are a few things this letter means to me that some people may not understand:

1) Less Time Away From Home
I have spent a good deal of time away from my family over the last five years, six when I finish, and this letter means that I can have more time with my family after graduation.

2) Accomplishment
Many of you know that I dropped out of high school my junior year.  I ended up going back and finishing at a continuation school.  I didn't drop out because I was stupid I dropped out because I had a bunch going on in my family life and I was bored at school.  Studying the Bible is something that I love to do!

3) Education
I started this MDiv program because felt that God was calling me to but during the process He taught me that it is more about the education I have received than a piece of paper that will sit on my wall.

These are just a few things this letter means to my life.  It will always be a reminded to me of all the hard work I put in, studying the word of God, to help others know Christ.

Swimming and My Spiritual Growth

This may be a new thing to you but I took a swimming class in junior college.  I could already swim but I needed two P. E. credits and swimming fit my schedule.  I got in the pool that first day and almost died.  I'm not sure I even owned a pair of swim goggles.  Over time I listened to the teacher.  I improved on my stroke.  I learned a few more strokes and at the end of the semester I swam a mile.  Yep, the final exam was to swim a mile and I'm pretty sure I ended up doing it in just under forty-five minutes.

Well as I have grown older and I used to swim quite frequently for my cardio workout but that had diminished over the years.  Just recently (like last week) Charity had bought some goggles at Costco so I figured I would take a swim at the gym.  I did my normal workout and then headed to the pool.  When I got done with my first two laps I realized that I am out of shape.  After swimming six laps I was standing in the water, straining to get my breath and it hit me: "This is what is like when we fail to grow spiritually."

Many of us have had great times in our live that we have grown spiritually and we have seen growth in our lives.  God has found favor in our lives and has used us to do some amazing things for His glory.  Then, for whatever reason it may be, we stop growing spiritually.  We get married, have children, or just decide that is not something we are going to focus on in our lives anymore.

Something happens in our lives and we want to be back at that place we were in live.  We realize how desperate we are for the relationship with The Lord that we once had and we jump back in and try to pick up where we left off.  The sad thing is we are out of shape; spiritually.  We are spiritually out of shape and cannot maintain what we once we able to do... and that becomes hard for many of us.

This is a reminder for me that I have been out of shape for swimming and that will take time to get back to where I was but I was also convicted that I have gotten spiritually out of shape and need to spend more time listening to the voice of God in my life.

Remember what it says: 

“Today when you hear his voice, 

don’t harden your hearts 

as Israel did when they rebelled.” Hebrews 3:15 (NLT)