Seeking Spiritual Intimacy: Book Review

Book Title: Seeking Spiritual Intimacy

Author: Glenn E. Myers

Pages: 219

Publisher: InterVarsity Press

Recommendation: I would encourage anyone who is curious about Church History to pick up this book and see how it impacts you life.

Overview: Seeking Spiritual Intimacy is about the Beguine women who lived during the twelfth and thirteen century.  Myers takes the time to lay out the lifestyle, spiritual development, life commitments and impact these women had on modern day spiritual formations.  He is so creative and takes pretty much the second part of each chapter to share how the lifestyle of these women can be implemented into our modern culture.  Myers is actively encouraging the reader to not just understand historical content but to live out those principles in their daily life.

Seeking Spiritual Intimacy could be the best book I have read all read for spiritual development this year.  Myers is actually my professor for the class so it was a bit intimidating reading his book (and having to write a ten page review on it).  As someone who considers himself  a monk in training I loved reading about the spiritual disciplines that these women actively lived out in their lives.  The book brings Church History into a new perspective and sheds light on a time group of people who are not frequently written about.

I think I am able to write about this book in this manner after spending a week with Dr. Myers.  He is a kind, compassionate, man who is all about training up the next generation of spiritual leaders.  He is actively living out what he writes in this book and more importantly he cares about helping young leaders impact the world for Christ.

Too Many Forms of Communication?

A few months ago I was talking with one of the Elders at my church about the many forms of communication.  We were talking about how students are bombarded with all the different ways they connect with each other.  The conversation was interested because for me there were three basic forms of communication when I was growing up:

1. Phone Calls
2. Postal Service
3. Yelling Downstairs

Most people wouldn't consider the third a real form of communication and since my family didn't have a fax machine I am going to leave that off of the list.

Now here is a list of the many different forms of communication that a high school student has access to:

1. Phone Calls
2. Postal Service
3. Fax Machine
4. Email
5. Facebook
6. Twitter
7. Text Message
8. iMessage
9. iChat
10. Facetime
11. Skype

I am sure that there are some forms I am missing (please feel free to add to the list).  Since we all know that Facebook does not just include your timeline but also messaging and chat that could add a few and Twitter also has direct messaging but it didn't seem right to bolster the list too much.

The interesting thing is that with all these new forms of communication it seems that our society is more disconnected with those around us.  This disconnection means that parents, youth pastors, coaches and teachers have to work all the harder to keep students engaged and feeling they are important in a world that can seem overwhelming to some.  This is where the local youth pastor needs to be able to step in, partner with parents and help out to get students into real relationships.

Women's Resource Center Banquet 2012

When we moved to Nevada my wife got a job at an amazing ministry called The Women's Resource Medical Centers of Southern Nevada (WRC).  Now to be honest I really had no clue what Charity did when she got the job but it didn't take long for me to learn all about her role and how important what she was doing was to the community.  The WRC is actively involved in the community by helping with crisis pregnancy counseling.  Now I am not the stat guy on this one but I know that there are so many people who find themselves in a situation with an unwanted child.  The bummer is that many of these women abort their child because they believe there is no other option.  The WRC is here to let women know that there is another option and that the baby shouldn't have to suffer for the choice of the parents.

Every year the WRC holds an annual banquet to help keep the awareness there in the community and to raise money.  We are super blessed because we have been able to attend this banquet almost year we have lived here and recently we have been able to secure a table so we can bring students along to help them understand the importance of the sanctity of life.

This year we were blessed to bring some students that we have worked with for years to this event so they can hear about the importance that there are options when people find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy.

Here are three things that stuck out to me from the banquet

1) I WISH I COULD BRING 100 STUDENTS 
This event is so much fun that I wish I could bring 100 students with us to it!  The message is so vitally important and there are kids in every city in America making choices they will regret forever.  If we could bring more students to hear this message I think that we could see more of an impact of the ministry.  Since we can't bring 100 students there it means that we (pastors) need to bring the message to the church of how important this is!

2) WRC MADE A BIG ASK
Every year the WRC makes a request for people to help support them financially; and I think that every year we have written a check to help them out.  This year they needed to raise money so they could buy their own commercial building since they are outgrowing their current location.  They didn't pull any punches and put a line on the card to see if anyone wanted to give $1,950,000.  Yep, they asked for someone to give them 1.9 Million dollars!  It made me think of James 4:2

3) GOVERNOR HUCKABEE
This year Governor Huckabee was the keynote speaker and he brought it!  The students who came with us were talking about the message he gave and how it impacted them.  This was so important for them to have an engaging speaker to keep the crowd interested in the message and he did that!

I am thankful for the opportunity to attend this event every year but I am more thankful that we can help students understand the value.

Made for Relationship

I have always thought that people are made for relationship.  I read the Bible and see it clearly laid out; to be honest you can't get past the first couple pages until you see how Adam was lonely without Eve.  I truly believe that we are all made for relationships so I figured I would share my heart some and let you know four relationships that look forward to in my life:

MY WIFE
My wife is the second best thing to ever happen to me (the first being giving my life to Christ).  I love the conversations that Charity and I have.  I love that I know my wife prays for me on a daily basis.  I love that our relationship is ever progressing.  I love that I have a partner to do life with and someone to come home to when I have good days and bad days.  Now is our marriage perfect?  By no means!  We have our tough times and we have our conflicts but we have chosen to press ahead to grow in our relationship.

MY KIDS
This has been an ever changing relationship in my life.  I will never forget the day that I met both of my beautiful little girls and how much they have changed me.  See as my children grow up I have to constantly be on my toes in this relationship.  I have gone from being scared to changing diapers to knowing how to make it happen.  I went from never really holding a child to playing My Little Ponies pretty much every day after work; and sometimes before work.  This relationship has shaped my life in so many different ways!

MY ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER
Not only do I love coffee but I love hanging out with my accountability partner.  I love that I have a guy in my life that I can share life with and be completely honest.  We need weekly (most of the times) to share life.  We talk about what God is doing in our lives, the newest apps we have on our iPhones, how are kids are doing, how we are treating our wives, when our next fishing trip will be, what we are reading in our Bible and pray.  The deal is whoever shows up last has to buy which sucks for me who is always late but the relationship is so valuable that I would pay every week!

MY LIFE GROUP

Something that has been cool for me, in the last couple months, is seeing people get connected in relationship at our church.  Most of you know that I recently took a new leadership role at South Hills and this position has STRETCHED me in some crazy ways.  Charity and I have a Life Group that we meet with on a weekly basis.  We are reading "Love & Respect" and this book has been great for my relationship with Charity.  And by great I mean it has shown me how much I fail as a husband and how much room I have to improve.

What are some key relationships in your life and what makes you excited about them?

Little Hands Finished!

Just over a year ago I started the tattoo on my left side.  The goal was to get the girls handprints on my side and have their names under it.  After talking with my tattoo artist he came up with this idea that I truly love!  It has taken much longer to finish than I would have ever imagined but I am stoked that it is finally finished.

I think that I have about five (maybe six) sittings on this.  We started out with doing Sophie's handprint from two years old.  After I got home I realized that I was going to need to get Leah's handprint immediately or it wouldn't fit.  Jonny Five had to do some creative work to get them both to fit in their but we did.  At the last session, which I finished about two weeks ago, we put the girls names underneath the frame with their birthdates.

Encourage Yourself

I have been talking about how to encourage others in the last couple blog posts on here but I think this post is the most important post of the series.  Hopefully the title of this post grabs your attention and makes you want to read what is going to follow.  See it seems pretty simple to encourage others around you but the only way we can do that is to be full of encouragement!

Every single one of us is going to encounter difficult situations in life, the thing that matters is how we respond to these situations.  There is a great story in the Bible where David (not yet king) encounters a pretty sketchy leadership situation.  Now before you say: "I'm not a leader, keep reading."  David is leading a band of the toughest dudes that have ever walked the earth and one day they are out doing what they do best but they come home to find that their camp has been ransacked.  The men get home and find that their possessions and their families are missing.  The Bible tells us this:

"David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the Lord his God." 1 Samuel 30:6 (NIV) 

When is the last time you encountered a time and instead of venting, calling a buddy, crying or just giving up you went to God to find strength?  Who do you think would be the biggest encouragement in your life?  If you have read through the Gospels there are a handful of times that we even see God being a cheerleader (for lack of a better word) for his Son (Matthew 3:17, 17:5)

Here are some thoughts on how to encourage yourself:

SPEND TIME WITH GOD
If you call yourself a Christian I want to ask you a tough question: "When the last time you spend time with God?"  When was the last time you just created some space in your life to hang out with God?  When you chose to spend time with God there is something special that happens.  The Bible is very clear that David made a choice to spend time with God when he was feeling discouraged.

REST IN THE LORD
We live in an extremely busy culture.  With that said have you taken time to follow the command, found in the Old Testament, to take a day of rest?  Our bodies are not meant to go, full-time, for 365 days in a row.  God is very clear that He desires us to take one day a week to slow down and rest in Him.  I have found in my life that if I don't do this intentionally God will figure out ways to make this happen.

LISTEN TO THE VOICE OF GOD
There is a great verse is the Psalms that encourages us to be still and listen to the voice of God (Psalms 45:10).  When you spend time with God, resting in His presence, you will begin to create space that will allow you to listen to the voice of God.  Now when God begins to speak get ready because these are going to be some of the greatest times of encouragement in your life!

In conclusion the best way to encourage yourself is to rest in the presence, the comfort, the strength, and the power of the Lord.

Encourage Your Pastor

Last week I started a blog series on encouragement and how we can be an encouragement to those around us.  I meant to finish this up last week but we all know how life gets crazy!

Today I want to talk about how to encourage your pastor.  Now we must remember that we all have a different relationship with our pastor.  You may be involved in a large church and therefore its more difficult to encourage your lead pastor but on the other hand you may be in a smaller church and have an extremely close relationship with your pastor.  You could be very close to the Student Ministry Pastor, Children's Pastor or Associate Pastor at your church.  No matter what context you find yourself in the question always remains the same: "How can I be an encouragement to my pastor?"

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
I think that there are many things that we can do to encourage our pastor.  Many pastors are filled up by words of affirmation.  Understanding that, and speaking as a pastor, it's amazing how much a short note or quick compliment can encourage your pastor.  I am not asking you to lie about anything or say something that you don't believe, but I am asking you to think long and hard about how amazing your pastor is!

Think about all the long hours your pastor puts into sharing the truth of God to the lost people in your city.  Think about all the long hours your pastor has already put into studying God's word so they can accurately help you grow in your walk with Christ.  Think about the last time your pastor came to your kids birthday party or visited someone at the hospital.  Think about the last time your pastor asked you how you are doing and really meant it.  These are some great places to start to think about where you can begin to encourage your pastor.

PRAY FOR YOUR PASTOR
Words of affirmation are great but I think praying for your pastor is the best way you can encourage them.  You can spend time interceding for your pastor in prayer.  You can pray for your pastor at your next life group meeting so that others will catch the need to pray for him or her.  You can pray with your family for your pastor so they also catch the need to keep your pastor in prayer.  You may want to send your pastor an email to see how you can be praying for them and what is on their heart.

Today is a great day to start praying for you pastor and beginning to encourage him!

Encourage Your Friends

This is totally something that I am working on in my life right now.  I am an encourager and love to encourage my friends in what God is doing in their life.  I love to meet people and encourage them to follow hard after the truth of God.  I love to see people serving in our church and thank them for all their hard work.

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:25 (NIV)

The opposite side of being an encourager is being a discourager and I can be great at that also.  When I get close to people to love to razz on them.  I have a bad habit of knowing what bothers people and being able to bring that up in awkward ways.  There can be some fun points in this of bonding but there is also an aspect that really brings people down and this is something that I need to constantly be aware of.

See so many times we forget how powerful our words can be.  We forget that in our words there is the power of life and death.  We forget that there are people in our circle of influence who need an encouraging word in their lives and we have the power to offer that to them in the time of need.  If you were to read through the New Testament (mainly Acts and the Epistles) you would see the word "encouragement" come up 40+ times.  There is something important in our words so I want to begin to more aware of as we seek to encourage those around us:

When he arrived and saw the evidence of the grace of God, he was glad and encouraged them all to remain true to the Lord with all their hearts.  Acts 11:23 (NIV)

Lets talk about three areas that we can help to encourage each other

BUY A COFFEE
This could be one of the best ways to encourage someone this week.  Maybe you already have a meeting planned where you could just slip the old debt card over and take care of the coffee to encourage your friend.


WRITE A NICE NOTE
It is amazing at how much a nice note can make someone's day.  My wife LOVES it when I write her little notes and leave them around for her to find.  Who can you write an encouraging letter to today to let them know how important they are in your life?

SPEND SOME TIME
Time is the most valuable resource that any of us have in this life.  Who do you need to spend a little extra time with this week?  Time spent can help to refresh a relationship, it can be used to strengthen a bond, it can be used to clarify some things so that you can leave the other person more encouraged!

Kids Need Encouragement

I've been thinking a lot about encouragement lately and how important it is to our lives.  I'm not sure exactly what has spurred this in my life but it is on my mind right now so I am going to dedicate this week of blogging to encouragement.

A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to speak at a winter camp and was able to take my family with me... for the most part.  The family stayed at my mom's house since Sophie was feeling a little sick and I headed down to the camp.  On the way up to the camp a cool time happened that was encouraging to my kids (at I think it was).

We were sitting at Starbucks in Barstow, CA and were about to leave.  Before we packed up I took a picture of Charity with a funny face.  It spurred me to start taking some pictures with my kids while we made funny faces and here is what we got:

Now you may be trying to get the correlation between the monkey face so bear with me real quick.  See this was a time in my life that I could herd my kids back to the car or spend some time encouraging them to be creative.  Now I am sure that their first grade teachers will not like this behavior but when they are young and we can have fun like this I want to encourage my kids to be creative.  The best thing about spending time with them like this is that I get memories that will last a lifetime as I build my relationship with them.

Question Behind the Question: Book Review

Last Sunday I caught a flight from Vegas to Sacramento.  On that flight I had a thin little book with me that I planned on reading.  The plane took off and I began to journey into the "Question Behind the Question" (QBQ).  Now this book was recommended to me by our Executive Pastor about eight months ago.  I didn't have the time to get it then but I knew it would be a good plane book.  I was able to read the book (and eat a sandwich) during the flight.

The title of the book pretty much explains what you are going to get... the funny thing is that I didn't read the title before I got the book so I was taken back a little on what I was getting into once I started reading.  The best thing about books like that is they are exactly what you need at that time in your life.  

This book is exactly what I needed in this time of my life and the stage that God has me in. 

Here are some quick stats on the book:

Author: John G. Miller

Pages: 115

Recommendation: READ IT!

Favorite Quote: "Taking action may seem risky, but doing nothing is a bigger risk!" (page 84)

I honestly could have given you fifty quotes from this book because it is chalk full of great stuff!

Park Here; Please

(Hume Lake 2009)

This Christmas break I had a blessing of working with a young man by the name of Sam Alex.  Sam is the kind of young man that would be amazing to have on your team.  Sam worked with our church for six weeks over his Christmas break from Biola.  The best part about that is that he contacted me because he didn't just want to sit around and do nothing.  See the first week of school Sam made a choice to change his major to Pastoral studies and I know that one day Sam will be a pastor.


Sam came to church and started going to our high school ministry as a freshman in high school.  He came to most all of our summer camps, winter camps and was one of my student leaders.  I loved being a part of Sam's life and to see who God has transformed him into is amazing.  I will never forget the change that has taken place in Sam's life and even being able to baptize him is a blessing for me.  I have been able to see Sam grow up into a young man; a young man who loves the Lord with all his heart.

I share all of this because of a text that I received from Sam just last week.  Sam gets it!  Sam has been looking for a church to connect with and instead of sitting around he is getting involved in an area that needs help.  See what Sam was working with us he had the best attitude.  Sam did everything from create PowerPoints to help with game for students, he taught in our Children's Ministry and even cleaned the church.  I specifically remember one day seeing Sam outside cleaning at church and I knew that the night before he preached in our high school ministry.  Look at the joy in this text!  The excitement of being able to help out at a great church that needs help with their parking lot ministry.

Here are some three quick things that I think we all can learn from what I am seen in the life of Sam;

WORK HARD
Sam worked his butt off for the six weeks that he served at our church.  Sam did this for not one penny!  He modeled what Paul wrote in Colossians 3:23 and he has been doing this ever since I met him (along with many of the guys he grew up with)

SERVE WELL
If you are not serving at your church stop sitting around!  Go and find a place where you can use the talents that God has given you to serve the church well.

HAVE JOY
This could be the most important or just the thing that holds them all together.  Sam always had a big smile on his face (even when I asked him to do a 99 slide PowerPoint).  If you meet Sam you will know what I mean and the joy that he has in his life because of who he is in Christ.

Valentines Away

Most people get to spend Valentine's Day with their spouse or significant other.  They may go out to a nice dinner, buy some gifts, kiss a little and laugh alot but the last two years have a been a different story for me.  I have been at seminary all week so instead of spending Valentine's Day with my family I spent Valentine's Day away.

Before I left for my final week of seminary Charity took me out on a super cool date and I was able to spend some time with my kids.  Not that Valentine's Day is a huge holiday but its an important day to my wife.  I tried to get her some flowers to have around while I am gone.  Before I left we decided to celebrate Valentine's Day a little early by exchanging cards and gifts.

So as I was unpacking my bag, in the hotel, I found a package in my bag from my wife.  She had spent some time with the girls making me fancy cards, writing little notes, tucking in some of my favorite candies and using her creativity to make me smile.  Even though I didn't get to spend Valentine's Day with my family, I still was able to Skype with them and have some cool gifts to enjoy!  I'm very thankful that this will by my last "Valentine's Away".

Honesty vs Good Intentions

This is something that has been running through my mind lately.  It all really started back in June (last year) when our staff started meeting with a consulting group.  During our first time with the group the leader asked us to share everything that we are thinking.  To impress the importance of this he asked to share what he called "The last 10%".  The goal was to get everyone to be very honest so we could experience some growth in our personal lives, staff unity and see God use our church to reach the lost.

Ever since that meeting we have started to use that line around our church.  I currently meet with a great group of people who are helping to shape Life Groups around our church and we have used this line in most of our meetings.  The great thing is that this group of people is very honest and that can sometimes hurt.  In our last meeting I shared something like this with them:

"Honesty can hurt, and you may hurt me with what you say, but if you are not honest with me I will never grow into who God is asking me to be."

Here is how this can play out in real life

GOOD INTENTIONS
Most of us would prefer that everyone in life spoke to us in their good intention voice.  This is the voice that is always affirming, it is always soothing and it rarely hurts our ego.  Good intentions will never get to the last 10% because the last 10% can hurt people.  Good intentions can stroke an ego but they may never call anyone to life change because they don't want to offend people.  Good intentions make us feel good even if there is a real issue that needs to be dealt with.

HONESTY
Honesty is something that people share with you when they really care about you.  Honesty is what Jesus exemplified in His life as he spent time with the disciples.  He didn't sugar coat things to make them more palatable for them but just spoke the truth in love.  When we are honest with each other we can help others grow more.  Honesty says: "I love you too much to let you continue to act like this".

Honesty is difficult though but Good Intentions are also difficult.  When we use our good intentions we are careful to not say what we really feel and that can hinder growth in others.  On the contrary, when you are honest with people it can jeopardize your relationship with them and you may end up hurting their feelings.  When being honest it is imperative to understand your tone of voice, body language and facial expressions are saying more than your words are saying.  If you are aware of these areas of your life then it becomes easier for people to accept what you are saying.

The next time you have a conversation think about "The Last 10%" but before you use it make sure that everyone in the room knows the rules and are ready to hear what needs to be said.

Wise Up! Rise Up!

Last weekend I was invited up to Pondo to speak at camp. The camp was full of middle school students and amazing adult leaders who love middle school students.  The theme of the camp was "Rise Up! Wise Up!" and for the weekend teaching we spent of our time in the book of Proverbs.  Now middle school students can be a difficult crowd of students to communicate to so you have to be very intentional at how you address them with the topic so they can have application for life change.

Here are some of my thoughts after the spending the weekend with students:

I MISS STUDENTS
Many of you know that I was recently asked to transition into a new role at my church.  I had lead in our student ministry department for the last seven years so I know the transition would be a huge change.  I was a little nervous that I may get to the camp and realize that it would have been better for someone else to be there teaching but the exact opposite happened.  I realized that I miss spending time with youth pastors.  I miss seeing students do stupid things.  I miss spending time with the community that happens in a ministry team that meets on a weekly basis to conquer the same goal.

MINISTRY WITH MY WIFE IS AMAZING
On Saturday Charity came down (she was staying at my mom's house) to hang out for the day. Since having children Charity and I haven't been able to do ministry, on the front lines, side by side like we once were able to and I miss that.  My wife is such an amazing, encouraging, uplifting woman that it just makes me want to spend more time with her.

GOD LOVES STUDENTS
Saturday night was decision night and I had been praying most for that night.  I was able to share about how Jesus calls us to follow Him and invited students to make that choice right there to follow Jesus.  About 30+ students stood up and said "I want to follow Jesus" that night.  Something happened that night that I never expected when the worship leader, David Gaulton, called all the adult leaders up to pray with students.  It took some time but after a while most of the students had left their chair to head to the front to pray with their adult leader; it was so rad seeing God move in the lives of students that weekend.

(Students praying with leaders)

Old Friends...

Old friends tend to the best friends.

They know all your junk and still love you.  They go eat breakfast with you when you are back in your hometown and its never awkward.  You can sit with them and laugh.  They know where you live and they love to spend time with you!

(Conrad, Neal, Bobby and Peanut)

These are just a few thoughts that have been running in my mind since my last Big Bear trip a few weeks ago to celebrate the life of a dear friend.  While I was in town in was super tough to be there, under the circumstances, but really good to see a bunch of my old friends.  A handful of us went out to breakfast one day and it was so good, for me, to just spend time with these that I love!  There are a few other guys that I would have loved to have in this picture with us but I am so thankful for these guys in my life.

If you hear me preach a sermon and talk about the stupid things I did when I was younger it was probably with at least one of these guys!  We did a whole bunch of crazy things.  As I look back on life I can say that I regret a bunch of what I did but I would never change what I did.  My past has shaped me into the man I  currently am and for that I am thankful for Old Friends in my life!  I love you guys!

(Andy, Bobby, Conrad, Jason and Neal)

Foundations of the Christian Faith

Tonight I am starting my first class for adults.  For the last couple months I have been working with our Executive Pastor to help develop a lesson plan that we feel will be helpful to people in their walk with Christ.  I know that there are many things we can invest our time into that is why the goal for this class is to be helpful not smart.  


The Foundations class will be eight weeks long and meet upstairs in our church office on Wednesday Night from 7pm-8:30pm.  We will have round tables out so that people can discuss what we talk about in the class and pray with others before they leave.  We are hoping that this helps people find others in their life to connect with and allows for group knowledge to be shared.


If you are thinking about taking the class, or have already signed up, here is what you can basically expect to get out of the class (you can also expect me to throw some crazy twists):

Week One: Introduction to the class

This week we will intro the class and give an overview of everything that we will cover in the class.

Week Two: Understanding the Bible (Structure and History)

Goal: To give a basic understanding of the Bible.  We will cover the 66 books, 40 different authors, discuss locations of the writings and end with an overview of the original languages.

Week Three: Understanding the Old Testament (Structure and Theology)

Goal: To discuss the calling of Abraham, see the grace of God in the lives in Israel, discuss the nature of God and touch on some prophecies of Christ. 

Week Four: Understanding the New Testament (Structure and Theology)

Goal: Talk through the nature of Christ (fully God and fully human).  Look over different terms for the different literature that we find in the New Testament.

Week Five: Defining Biblical Terms

Goal: For people to leave with a basic understanding of Sanctification, Justification, Atonement and meaning of Baptism.

Week Six: Spiritual Formations

Goal: Now that we understand the text we need to teach people to interact with the text as they grow closer to Christ.  Teach about Lectio Divina, Fasting, Prayer, and create a personal growth plan.

Week Seven: Apologetics 

Goal: Teach people how to accurately defend their faith without getting angered.

Week Eight: Alliance Distinctive's

Goal: To help people understand what is different about South Hills Church Community in relation to other denominations and groups. 


If this sounds good to you go ahead and sign up for the class here!

Dealing with Death

It seems like this month I have experienced more death than I can remember in a month.  Now I know this can be a morbid topic to address and generally people would like to avoid the topic but it is also a very real topic to address.  It started earlier this month with the death of a very close friend and then on Sunday I found out that two more people I know had passed away.  I'm not really sure what I am trying to communicate here but to just share some of my feelings as I process what has happened around me.  I hope that these thoughts may be helpful to others who are dealing with death.

How do we process death:

Tears
When I found out my friend Rob passed away I shed a few tears that day.  When my wife told me I had to hold back the tears.  When I spoke with Conrad that day I let some of them fly. The thing that shocked me is when I broke down at his memorial service.  I knew that I had emotions in my life in regards to his passing that I had not dealt with but I was shocked at the pain inside.  As I think about the truth of Scripture I can only think about how Paul tells us to mourn with those who are mourning

"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn" Romans 12:15 

Conversations
I am so thankful for my wife this month.  I am so thankful that I have someone in my life who shares the same belief system as I do.  Charity has allowed me to mourn over these deaths but has been there with me to talk them through.  She has, graciously, listened to my ramblings and my questions as we have conversed over this topic this month.  Charity has been there to listen to me say: "I just don't get it" or "I don't understand" more times that I can count.  As you deal with death in your life I would invite you to find a faithful person that you can have honest conversations with.

Friends
During these times that we are dealing with death I think the best remedy is to have friends around.  I am not talking about acquaintance; I am talking about friends.  This is a time in life that we need to surround ourselves with people who know us, who we can be honest with and who can be ok with us crying.

If you had to add something to this list what it would be?

Connected

The last six months I have a been asking more questions about ministry than I have in a long time.  Now I am a question asker by nature (just ask my tattoo artist).  When I was asked to transition into working with adults it was a whole new game for me and that meant new contacts, new lessons, new books, new contacts and new clothes (ok, just kidding about the clothes).

The main thing I work on now is connecting people to the church and the more I am working in this role I am beginning to see how unconnected people are to the church.  To be honest I am kinda of shocked at how many adults are not connected in smaller groups of people.  I guess when I became a Christian that is just what was explained to me as normal so I did it but my experiences are not true for everyone and that is why I preached about being connected at my church the first two Sunday's of the year.

I could take more time to talk about being connected but if you have not listened to these messages I invite you to listen to them and see what God stirs in your heart about your life connections.

Connected Week One

Connected Week Two

Leaders are Learners: Part 2

Yesterday I started talking about how leaders are learners.  I am convinced that once you stop learning you will loose your ability to lead.  You may not loose it right away but over time you will loose any edge on leadership that you once had.  I'm sure that people will still come to you to ask questions but there will come a time when you cannot answer the newer questions because of your lack of understanding of the topic.

In my life here are two areas that I plan on learning about so I can be a better leader:

LEADING MY FAMILY
I am a firm believer that my second responsibility in life is to lead my family (my first being to lead myself).  One of my New Years goals is to be a better leader in my family.  That is going to require me to take classes, read book, talk with friends and be extremely honest with others.  One of the first steps that I am taking to lead my family is to be a part of a marriage group this year.  I know that being a part of this marriage group is going to stretch me in life (especially because I am the facilitator of the group).

I want to learn to be a better husband

I also want to learn to be a better dad.  I have realized that in the last couple years of being a dad I have not been as present as I would like to be.  I share that because its true and I want to be better.  See I have taken the time to invest my time, and energy, into seminary for the last six years.  Seminary is getting ready to come to an end so this year I want to focus on being a better dad.  I want to keep taking my little girls to doughnuts.  I want to keep spending time with them and telling them they are beautiful.  I want to spend time with them where the TV is off and my iPhone is out of reach.

LEADING IN THE CHURCH
I feel there is some great leaders in the church (global) right now but I also feel like there is a leadership void.  I feel like the church, and the world, are ready for the church to step up and take her true place of leadership.  As we have leaders begin to learn more about pastoral ministry, empowering members and making disciples I think we will see the void begin to fill but that will take time.

I think a main aspect of leadership in the church is going to come from spiritual mothers and fathers taking the time to invest in the younger generation.  I know I fall in the "younger generation" category but I want to help develop those younger than I am.  I want to be a resource for those who are curious about spiritual matters.  I want to help people understand how to study the Bible.  I want to not just say it and really do it.  That is why I will be teaching a Foundations of Christianity Class at our church starting next week.

As you think about your life: Where do you see God opening doors of for you to learn in your life?  Are you committed to being a person who learns in life or are you just settled with the place you are?  I want to encourage you to take the time to focus on self leadership, leading your family and then being a leader in the church.  The world is looking for people to lead; will you be one of them?

Leaders are Learners

One of my first classes in Bible college I remember the dean of the school teaching and during the class he said something to the effect of: "Leaders are learners."  After that he made sure to clarify that just because someone is a learner it does not mean they are a leader.  I have pondered those words for the last ten years of my life.

See I am in a leadership position at my church and I have done my best to be a leader that is constantly learning.  As I look at most people in the world we tend to lead in some area or another.  Maybe you find yourself leading in your job or on the sports team you are a part of.  Some people are leaders in the church and others are leaders in the home.  Men we are called to be leaders in our marriage and leaders of our family.

Today I want to focus on two areas of leadership that I see needing more leadership:

LEADING IN YOUR JOB
Most people that I meet with are leaders in their job.  I think they are leaders, in their job, for two main reasons.  The first reason is they took the time to learn the position.  They may have attended school to learn the necessary skills to manage others in their work place.  They may have grown up in the industry and therefore it was just natural for them to lead because they know more than others.  Other people find themselves in a leadership role because they chose to learn the position and rose up as the the best candidate.

Secondly, I think that people are leaders in their job because God has gifted them to love on others and be compassionate for people.  In a book called "Good to Great" they survey all these top companies across North America and found out that the best leaders always pointed their success to the team around them.  When something went bad they took a long look in the mirror to see if the problem was them.  These people are true leaders, that are learning, to lead better in their job.  These are the kind of leaders we need leading today.

LEADING ON YOUR SPORTS TEAM
I have worked with students for over ten years and I love it when I see a student lead on their sports team. These are the students that take the time to learn about their teammates.  They learn what the people on their team are good at.  They learn about them off the field and make a real connection with them.  For leaders this is not something that is difficult for them to do; it is something that comes naturally.  I think for real leaders this is something they want to do!  They want to learn about others so they can connect with them and help them become better people.

These are the kind of students that are comfortable moving across boundaries in the social order.  These students are the ones who do their best to get other connected and feel a sense of unity.  I think they are the students that are saving other students from committing suicide and making horrible choices in their life.  They care so much about others that they are willing to look like a fool to help someone else connect and feel secure.  These are the kind of students that we need leading in schools to help others feel a part of something bigger than themselves.

Tomorrow I want to talk more about the subject of leadership but today I will leave you with a question: "If you a leader (in any capacity) how are you learning to help better those around you?"

New Years Goals

I really wanted to title this post "New Years Thoughts" but what I am about to share are not only thoughts  but some goals I have given myself this year.  Now I know this post is 14 days late but I am pretty sure that most people have already failed at their resolutions or are struggling to maintain them.  I say that because I think we generally choose resolutions that are: (1) Very tough to achieve and (2) Unrealistic.

On our anniversary this year Charity and I talked about some of these things so I figured I would share some of my goals for this year:

GRADUATE SEMINARY
When I told Charity this was my main goal for the year she laughed at me; and rightfully so.  See I only have one class left until I graduate with my Masters degree.  I am super excited to be done with the degree but I am more excited about what my education has done for me.  Education has helped me worked through past issues, helped me grow as a person and has increased my effectiveness as a leader.  Seminary has been so good for me so this will be a huge chapter closing in my life.

BE A BETTER DAD
My next two goals have to do with a transition in my life.  See when I graduate seminary I am going to have some more time on my hands.  My personality is such that I like to stay busy and I like to see results.  I am committed to what I put my mind to and this year I am putting my mind to being a better dad.  I told Charity that with my responsibly in seminary coming to an end I want to take more time to focus on our family.  Obviously seminary has taken time, and money, for me to complete.  I would like to give that time, and money, back to our family in being a better dad.

BE A BETTER HUSBAND
I think that I could have probably put this one before being a better dad, and in my mind it comes first, but it flows better this way.  See I have given a whole bunch to our church in the last seven years.  I love my church.  I love seeing people find Jesus.  I love seeing students grow in their relationship with Christ.  I love hearing about people who find groups to get connected in.  This year though I am going to shut my phone off more to give more to my wife.  Charity has been such a huge support in my pastoral role and this year I want to give the church less and give my wife more (some of you are going to think I'm crazy for writing this).

READ MY BIBLE THIS YEAR
For the last eight, maybe nine, years I have made a commitment to read my Bible from cover to cover.  This year I plan on doing the same thing but I want to take some people along for the ride.  See God's word is extremely interesting.  The Bible is full of stories that capture the imagination and reveal truth in a relevant way.  This year I am committing to read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation with a group of people so we can share the knowledge with each other.

Now that I have shared my goals, what are some of your goals?  What is motivating you this year and what will you focus on?  Much of what I am sharing here comes from a conversation with a great friend in ministry.  One day, on the phone, he said this to me:

"Being a better pastor will not make me a better Christian, husband or dad but being a better dad, husband and Christian may make me a better pastor."

Seven Years of Marriage

This Saturday was my seven year wedding anniversary.  Now I am not going to even pretend that this blog post contains the secrets of marriage but I just want to share some lessons I have learned.  This time Charity and I shared our anniversary up at Mount Charleston which is about 45 minutes from our house.  We had a sweet deal and were able to get away (thanks to Charity's mom) and just spend some time with each other.

On our way home we stopped at Maggiano's for lunch and some more time to talk.  It was crazy not having our little girls around us for over 24 hours but it was also great to spend some time with just my wife.  I get away for work and seminary quite frequently but this was a huge blessing being with Charity.

As I reflect on the last seven years of my life here are some thoughts:

I AM A BETTER MAN BECAUSE OF MY WIFE
Charity makes me want to be a better man.  I come from a rough past and I think there are many times that I would revert to those ways if it weren't for Charity in my life.  Charity is sweet, Charity is caring, Charity is understanding and Charity supports me in life.  Charity brings out the best in me. For those of you who are not married look for someone that brings out the best in your life.

I HAVE A SUPPORTIVE WIFE
I know most people think that we pastors really only work one day a week but that is not true.  Being a pastor means being on call... all the time.  Over the years we have created some systems in our life to buffer the craziness but that there are still times I head to the hospital on my day off.  See what many people don't know is that in four months I will graduate with my Masters in Divinity.  The M.Div program is much more intense than your normal Masters Degree.  I will have put over six years into this 84 unit degree.  I would not have been able to (almost) accomplish this task without the help of my wife and how supportive she is.

LIFE CHANGES OVER TIME
I am sure that this doesn't come as a shocker to anyone but many times we fail to examine life.  Charity and I took some time to reflect on our lives over the last couple of years and oh how life has changed.  We had some good talks about how much fun we had in San Diego when we met; going to the zoo and hanging out at the beach but life has changed.  I have more responsibilities now in my role at church and that means less time having fun.  Although we have experienced much change over the last seven years I know that I always want to be married to this woman and live out those changes with her.

Star of Wonder

Last month Sophie starred in her first play at church.  Ok, that may be a bit of an exaggeration but she did practice a whole bunch for her one song that she sang with a bunch of other little kids.  It was super cool to have Sophie take the time to practice for her play but I have to admit that I am glad we are done singing this song every time we get into the car!
Gramps and Lola came out for her play which was a special treat.  If you have a few minutes to laugh then watch the video and check out my little girl.

Park Day

Yesterday I had a great morning (the rest of the day sucked) and was able to spend some time with my family in the morning.  We went to breakfast with some friends that Charity has known since high school and then headed over to the park.  I didn't realize how long it had been since I went to the park with my family and was able to just be with them (life has been pretty hectic lately).

Here are some things that we did:
We went over to the trees and shook all the leaves off
We rode the swings together
We went on the slide
We climbed the rock wall
We ran around and smiled

Then came one of the best parts when Sophie started singing this song and just totally made me laugh

A Fist Full of Quarters

About 10 days ago I was able to be a part of something amazing...

My buddy Jason Sowell leads a super cool non-profit organization called Current.  Part of what he does is something called the Laundry Love Project.  Now he has been doing these for years and has even taken it so far as to come to Vegas for the last three years and wash people's laundry for them.  Now I have to be honest that when he first told me about it I was a bit skeptical.  I really thought: "You are going to do laundry for people?"  It didn't register to me.

He finally got me to come and check it out (and help) for the last laundry project that he led in Vegas and I was in awe at what he does.  I think that Jason is meeting a social need for people.  It never hit me that there are people in the world, in my own city, that cannot afford to wash their clothes.  I have taken that fact for granted for the last 32 years of my life.  It was great to see the expressions on the face of the people when we told them that we would pay to do their laundry.

Now it wasn't free.  Jason raised a bunch of money to make it happen.  Jason took time to find money to bring it Vegas so that he could pay to do someone's laundry who he has never met.  Think about that real quick.  I saw it with my own eyes.  I was able to grab a fist full of quarters, put them in my pocket and sock them away in laundry machines so people could have clean clothes.

Jason plans on returning to Vegas in May and I told him that I would get a team of 15 people together to go down to the Laundry Mat and help out.  We only had six people while I was there and that wasn't enough people to help out.  We need your help to help out others for something it is needed!  Before you write it off, just watch some of the videos listed on his site.

one more scar

About five months ago I went to my dermatologist to get a final check up on my skin.  As she examined my skin I really thought I was out of the woods with her.  See in the last five years she has removed two moles that precancerous from my back.  At this appointment I thought I was done until she asked me to turn around and look at the back of my legs.  She pulled out her pen and circled a spot on my leg... I was bummed.

That day she cut the mole off and I was out.  I got a call back and just assumed that the mole was fine just like the rest but this time I was wrong.  I was called again to get an appointment to get in as soon as I could so she could cut the mole off a little deeper because she didn't get the entire precancerous matter out.  I went in early on a Wednesday morning and got prepped to get the mole removed.  It was extremely weird being awake as she was cutting my leg open.  She informed me that she would need to cut out the mole and then cut my leg in a diamond shape so that she could stitch it up properly for healing.  This is a picture of my leg after 24 hours of it being removed.  I saw my leg after the first day and I was pretty nervous that it would be jacked up but I knew that I would rather have a nasty scar on my leg then no leg.

Well it has been almost three weeks now since the surgery and my leg is looking much better.  I am thankful to share that my doctor is amazing and was able to remove everything that precancerous.  I have a great doctor who did a great job on my leg and it is looking so much better!

In 12 Days

About two weeks I received and email from an amazing lady named Suzanne.  Suzanne has a really cool story that prompted her to start her company called In 12 Days.  The connection happened because of the guys on our staff wanted to propose to his girlfriend.  In 12 Days wanted to help him out by blessing him with an amazing way to propose and hook up a free engagement ring from a local jeweler that was announced on the local Christian Radio Station.

The more and more I think about what Suzanne does and the impact she is having on Las Vegas I just help but think what a special lady she is.  I think about the time that she has taken to help bless these families in our community.  I think about the time she has taken to think about creative ways to bless people.  I think about the hours she has invested in getting people to help her out to bless others.  I start thinking that this lady is really fulfilling her purpose in life by being a blessing to others.  Then I finally think: "What if everyone acted the way she does?"

Check out the video of Evan asking Amy to be his bride

Broken Heart

This morning I received an email from Africa talking about a country that broke my heart five years ago.  Five years ago I was able to go to Burkina Faso, in West Africa, with a team of twelve people.  I was fortunate enough to go with my wife on this trip which made the mission trip so much more beneficial for me (The picture of us on the alligator is the best one I have of just us and I can't find one of the team).

I don't want this blog post today to turn into a discussion about alligator riding but to focus on the need of Burkina now.  See ever since we went to Burkina our heart has broken for the country.  I actually tried to lead another trip there about a year later with some students but it didn't pan out (it was a good thing we didn't go).  Our church has since sent two more teams to Burkina and every time they leave I wish I was going with them.

The children in Burkina broke my heart.  They were so much fun to play with, hang out with, laugh with and joke with.  I would love to bring my little girls over there (soon) to experience the country and the people.  See the main reason I wanted to blog about Burkina today is due to the email that I received this morning talking about clean water.  I am not a fan of watching videos longer than 2-3 minutes but this six minute video is well worth the time.  Watch the video here and start to think about what you could do to help people who do not have clean water!

Sherlock Holmes- A Game of Shadows

On Saturday Charity and I went to see the new Sherlock Holmes movie; A Game of Shadows.  We both totally loved the first one so when the second one came out there was no question if we would see it or not.  Now I am not a movie review kind of person but I did want to share some thoughts about the movie with you.   I am not going to give anything away about the plot of the movie so don't worry about protecting your eyes as you read this.

First of all I love the movie!  I love the action in the movie.  It is a movie that keeps you thinking.  If you saw the first Sherlock Holmes then you know what I am talking about.  Every little detail in the movie seems to come back and play into the whole of the movie later on.  I love how creative the writers of the movie are (I am not sure who they are but the did good on this one).  The attention to detail in these movies has always impressed me as someone who likes to think about what is going to happen next.

Now I have to admit there are some behaviors in the movie that I would consider questionable.  Doctor Watson is portrayed as a drunk who can barely stand on the way to his wedding and he also has a pretty intense gambling problem.  There is one point where Sherlock Holmes disguises himself as a female to help save his friend.  I didn't sense there was a drag theme at all but that Sherlock was considering the best way to help his friend out.

Finally the best part about the movie was that I was able to see it with my wife on our date day.  We love to create a time, each week, where we just spend time with each other.  The movie is not the ideal place for this but this time we had to make it happen.  See Charity and I have committed to never stop dating each other and times like this allow me to hold my wife's hand, eat popcorn with her, laugh with her and talk about the movie afterward.

More is Caught then Taught

About four months ago I received a transition in our church.  I had served in our student ministry department for almost seven years and was asked to transition over to adult ministries.  My new role is completely different than my old role.  My new role is more daily organization, my phone calls and more different than I ever expected.

When change happens in our life we tend to examine things around us.  I began to examine my leadership in student ministry and really started thinking about how I would change if I had a change to do it again.  I also started to think about what I would do more of and take more time and energy to invest in.  One thing that keeps sticking out to me is that: "More is Caught then Taught" in ministry.  I say this because I constantly hear young adults in our church, that graduated from our high school ministry, say things like: "Neal I remember when you said this to me or took the time to talk to me about this."

Last night I was talking with one of these young men and he told me about a conversation that we had and how I was encouraging him in relationships.  Yesterday afternoon I spent some time with one of the guys who was in my small group and now is a junior in high school.  We have kids, students and people in our church that are watching what I do.  You have kids, students and adults in your church that are watching how you act.

I believe that more is caught in ministry than taught.  I believe that people forget most of the messages that we speak from stage but remember what they see us doing in our community, office, trucks, backyard and soccer field.  People are watching what we do and that is why this verse is so important as we live our lives.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35 (NIV)

I think that people are going to remember the time we invest into their lives more than our actions on a stage, or leadership position, the degrees on my wall and the things the world thinks are important.

Financial Peace University Wrap Up

For the last thirteen weeks I have been taking a class with about 250+ other people in our church called Financial Peace University.  After taking the class I wanted to share some thoughts that really stuck out to me about the class, the material and what I learned.  I think something very important to note about this class is that people in our church paid off almost 2 million dollars during the thirteen weeks of this course!

CONVERSATION
This class has provoked conversation in our church that probably would have never occurred without the class.  I wish I had counted how many couples told me this has improved their personal conversation.  There were people in our church that just never spoke about money and this class has helped people to talk about a topic that was such a taboo.  Its funny to hear about how a class that is so focused on money has helped save marriages in our church just by opening up conversation.

CREDIT CARDS
Before I took this class I really could have cared less about credit cards.  I thought they were actually really cool.  I could buy stuff that I wanted today and then pay for it later down the road.  Then I got this credit card that actually gave me free air flights for just spending money on it.  We were getting about four free flights a year with this card and that was pretty cool.  We would use this credit card like a debit card and then pay it off at the end of the month... so I thought.  When Charity and I really started examining our spending on this card we realized that we owed it about $1500.  We made a goal to pay that off and cut the card up.

CASH
Cash is pretty fun but when I spend it I get bummed sometimes.  See I learned, when we moved from credit to cash, that it actually makes me think more about the purchase when I use cash to buy it.  We have moved to a strictly cash based system in our family because of this course.  It may be a little more difficult then using a card but we know where our money is going and we are no longer in debt.

CONNECTED
Though this course I have seen people get connected to our church.  I have spoken with families who are meeting people and doing life with them now on a weekly basis.  People in our church are getting connected to others in our church through this class.  We had people sit at tables and have discussion about the weekly lesson.  It has been fun seeing people get connected through this course.

If you are going to be in Vegas and want to take this course make sure to check out our next session that begins January 17th 2011

Desensitized

I am desensitized.
You are desensitized.

The world we live in desensitizes us to the things around us that normally would bother us.  I remember when I first moved to Vegas and how awful I thought the billboards where.  I could not stand seeing the advertisements that were on the back of the taxi cabs here in town.  Now, seven years late, I realize how desensitized I am to that.

See over time we become desensitized to the things that once bothered us.  This can happen in your work place, your home life, your school, and in your Christianity.  I am sure there are things around you that once made your stomach turn (even if it was just a little).  There were once things in your life that you could not stand to watch but now when you see them you ignore it because you have seen it so much.

Think about some of the things that middle school and high school students are seeing on a daily basis; things that would have never been accessible to me when I was younger.  Think about the things that are shown in movies now days.  Things that would have never been allowed on the "big screen" are now a regular occurrence.  The saddest thing is that I just sit there and do nothing about it.  Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I turn away but for the most part I do nothing.

I am more and more perplexed, bothered, and frustrated by this as a dad then I have ever been before.  The issue I struggle with is how to appropriately engage culture to see life change...  I want to be a part of life change in the world and I really think the more we desensitize the world the more clear we need to present the Gospel of Jesus Christ to those who are looking for purity in a world full of sludge.

Mastering Church Management: Book Review

I am currently take a course for Tozer Seminary called: "Politics, Legalities and Money".  The class has really been super helpful and has impressed me as to the content we have studied for the course.  I just emailed my final paper to a great friend who will edit it, make it bleed, and then help me correct my grammar.

For this course I sought more external resources than I ever have for a final paper because of the nature of the class.  Thanks to a classmate I was able to get a handful of helpful books from the Simpson University Library.  One of them is Mastering Church Management.  Now I am sure that most of you will not run off to Amazon to get the book but I think you may want to reconsider that.  This book has a some great information contained within the interesting looking cover and was considerably more helpful then I had imagined it would be!
The book was helpful with information on maintaining staff moral, encouraging staff members, staff transition and lots of other areas of staff leadership.  I was thinking to myself today about how cool it is that the principles laid out in this book are still applicable some 25+ years later.  If you are thinking about becoming an executive pastor, lead pastor or church planter I am going to recommend this book to you.
Favorite Quote: "Devoting time to nurturing staff members' competence and interpersonal relationships says we value them, not just their ministry output." page 148